The British Princess known as Daisy of Pless was one of the most controversial people of her time. She was famous of her cheerful personality, but also her beauty and unconventional manners. The necklace she received from her husband became one of the most wanted artifacts after World War II.
Daisy was born on June 28, 1873 as Mary Theresa Olivia Cornwallis-West at Ruthin Castle in Denbighshire, Wales. She was strongly related to the British royal family. Her father was Col. William Cornwallis-West (1835–1917) and her mother was Mary "Patsy" Fitzpatrick (1856–1920). William Cornwallis-West was a great-grandson of John West, 2nd Earl De La Warr, and Mary was related to the house of the 2nd Marquess of Headfort. The strong bond between Daisy and Queen Victoria was also well known.
The early years of her life look similar to the lives of other girls from royal families. Nonetheless, due to her charming personality, she was called Daisy. In 1907 she was chosen as the most beautiful British woman.
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Daisy also known as Mary-Theresa Olivia Cornwallis-West.
Daisy married Hans Heinrich XV (1861–1938), a member of the Hochberg family, in 1891. Daisy and her husband were the owners of large estates and coal mines in Silesia (currently Poland, but in her lifetime Germany). These brought the Hochbergs enormous fortune and allowed Daisy to follow her extravagant lifestyle - coupled with disastrous events and political and family scandals.
The Secret of the Necklace
The married couple's residency was a Książ Castle in Silesia. However, Daisy didn't like this place, she preferred another castle which belonged to them – Pszczyna.
She received a pearl necklace from her husband who knew of her weakness for beautiful jewelry. It was 6.7 meters (22 feet) long and one of the most expensive necklaces in the world. Legend says however, that the pearls were cursed by the pearl diver who died while collecting them.
Daisy wore this elaborate necklace during official meetings. When she appeared with this overwhelming piece of jewelry in London, she became a sensation. Daisy liked the life of a public person and she maintained her links with English society, appearing with her children in Country Life magazine.
Undated sketch of Daisy by John Singer Sargent
The pearls became a symbol of the best period in her life. Nevertheless, after her death, people started to believe that they were the reason for many troubles in her life.
The luxurious life didn't bring happiness to the house of Hans Heinrich and Daisy. They had three sons: Hans Heinrich XVII, 4th Prince of Pless (1900–1984), Alexander, 5th Prince of Pless (1905–1984), and Count Bolko Konrad Friedrich of Hochberg (1910–1936). Nonetheless, the couple divorced in Berlin on December 12, 1922.
During her marriage, Daisy became a social reformer and worked for peace between her friends William II, the German Emperor and King Edward VII of the United Kingdom. The very strong bond between Daisy and Emperor William was a source of gossip in newspapers and the European courts.
Wilhelm II, German Emperor
Daisy further fueled rumors by publishing a series of memoirs that were widely read in the United Kingdom, the United States, and in Continental Europe. It was a huge scandal and this decision brought her many problems.
Hans Heinrich married Clotilde de Silva y Gonzalez de Candamo (1898 – 1978) on January 25, 1925. She gave him two children, but the marriage was annulled 9 years after the wedding. Clotilde married her stepson, Bolko, and was the mother of Daisy's and Hans Heinrich's only grandchildren.
Daisy liked to travel and ride horses and motorbikes. As a princess who grew up in a castle, she also liked to spend time in the countryside and play with her children.
The golden age of her life ended with the beginning of World War I. During the war she served as a nurse and touched hearts of Europeans by offering her help to soldiers on both sides of the conflict. She enjoyed the experience as it offered her an adventurous life and the opportunity to meet interesting people.
After the end of the war, many nobles started to support Adolf Hitler. However, Daisy supported the opposition of the fuhrer. During World War II she was active in charities which supported the prisoners of the concentration camp Gross Rosen. Considered as an enemy of the German Reich, she was removed from Książ when it fell under the ownership of the Germans.
A Legend of Treasure
Daisy of Pless died in a villa in the city of Wałbrzych. She passed away as an indigent and lonely woman on June 29, 1943. According to local legend, she was buried dressed in her pearls in the cemetery near her last house. The stableman’s daughter claimed that she was buried in a family mausoleum in a park of the Książ castle. But, after plundering by soldiers of the Red Army, she was reburied in a safer place in a park.
Książ Castle ( CC BY-SA 3.0 PL )
Unfortunately, the new grave caught the attention of the Russians, so Daisy was reburied once more – this time in a protestant cemetery in Szczawienek. During the 1980s, the cemetery was destroyed by the local authority of Silesia, but her body went back to Hochberg's castle.
Several expeditions tried to find the legendary treasure of Daisy. The pearl necklace became sort of a ''holy grail'' of the region. Fortunately, none of the treasure hunters found the grave of the last princess of Książ Castle.
A Reality That is Less Fascinating Than Myth
Due to the research by the Foundation of Daisy of Pless, the mystery of the necklace has recently been solved. The legend repeated by people since the end of World War II had been very far from the real story. Daisy sold most of her pearls in 1936. Her son Bolko was arrested by the gestapo for unknown reasons. He was tortured for two months and left the prison when his mother paid the NSDAP a huge amount of money. Sadly, the young man died because of the injuries caused by the torture.
According to Daisy’s grandson, if she was buried with a necklace it wasn't more than one meter (3.3 feet) of pearls. Her last place of burial remains a family secret because the Hochberg family wants to allow her to rest in peace.
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Pszczyna, palace, now Castle Museum. ( CC BY-SA 3.0 PL )
The Princess of Pless was a Dame of the Order of Theresa of Bavaria and of the Order of Isabella the Catholic of Spain, and was awarded the German Red Cross Decoration. Nowadays, her castles are the most beautiful museums of Silesia. The exhibitions are full of the things which belonged to this extraordinary woman. The history of Daisy of Pless stays very popular in the region and attracts thousands of tourists every year.
Featured image: Daisy aka Mary-Theresa Olivia Cornwallis-West.
By Natalia Klimczak
The Story of the Cartier Tutti Frutti Is a Marriage of French Design and Indian Royalty
One of these Art Deco masterpieces just sold at auction for an astounding $1.3 million.
The news flashed across my screen like a jewelry A.P.B: "Sotheby's is delighted to announce that we will offer one of Cartier's most iconic designs, a Gem-Set, Diamond and Enamel Tutti Frutti Bracelet, in a dedicated online auction open for bidding on sotheby's.com from 24 April -28 April 2020. This sensational jewel will be offered with an estimate of $600/$800,000." [Ed note: The bracelet sold for an astounding $1.3 million.]
Behind the ruby red alert is the history of this iconic design. It is the mark of the glorious exchange of ideas and inspiration between the French house of Cartier and Indian royalty that inspired some of the most important pieces of the twentieth century.
There had been a few colorful Cartier designs before brother Jacques set out to India in 1911 to witness the coronation of King George as Emperor, but the trip is a landmark as far as jewelry moments go. It introduced the house to a series of Maharajahs who would go on to commission masterpieces, and it opened Cartier&rsquos eyes to the stone carving techniques of the Indian jewelry tradition.
Soon bib necklaces and brooches would appear in the Cartier workshop studded with carved rubies, emeralds, and sapphires, in shapes like leaves and berries and blossoms. It was a departure from the white-diamond heavy garlands and bows that had dominated offerings before them, but also veered away from the strict geometric lines of Art Deco jewels that ruled the mid to late 1920s.
To own one of these Indian-inspired Cartier pieces was to single yourself out as a true connoisseur. Take a look at the iconic Cecil Beaton portrait of Tutti Frutti owner (and Singer sewing machine heiress) Daisy Fellows wearing her 1936 Collier Hindou Tutti Frutti. Just look at her, she knows exactly what she has on. Could this be you?
We talked to Sotheby's jewelry maestro (and jewelry Mafia member) Frank Everett to track down this Holy Grail up for auction now.
So, about the name Tutti Frutti.
Although the name &lsquoTutti Frutti&rsquo wasn&rsquot coined until the 1970s, these creations from the 1920s-30s always incorporate Moghul-style carved colored gemstones in natural motifs: flowers, leaves, berries and fruits. These carved stones, so popular in traditional Indian jewelry, were then mounted by Cartier in platinum and diamond settings, a perfect marriage of East and West.
Because You Were Nice to Me
A character, sometimes the Butt-Monkey of a given work, is treated for the first time in their lives with genuine kindness and friendship. It may extend to the character's life being saved, and as such, they now may feel I Owe You My Life. As is such, they will be exceptionally loyal to their benefactor, even if the benefactor admits that it was all a lie.
If the benefactor is a villain, this character could either be their Morality Pet, or someone they cared about before the benefactor turned evil.
The nature of this character type is such that their loyalty to their benefactor will extend to generally absurd lengths. Not even the benefactor will be able to persuade them that they had cruel ulterior motives &mdash this can be problematic if the Butt-Monkey in question ends up turning Ax-Crazy. Can be part of a HeelFace Turn. Normally one of the defining aspects of the Harem Genre, as with so many girls all vying after one boy, usually the most amount of time the series can devote to explaining why they all like him is that he simply treats them as human beings. Though this trope is often portrayed sympathetically, it is also what often creates the Stalker with a Crush and the Yandere.
A character who follows this may be one that Desperately Craves Affection as well.
Lisetta Lovett, a medical historian and psychiatrist, said that Casanova maintained a interest in medicine all his life and continued to read medical textbooks even after his ambition to study the subject was scotched by his mother.
The author of Casanova's Guide to Medicine told the newspaper that women including friends sought his advice and practical help in dealing with problems from pimples to unwanted pregnancies.
Ms Lovett said Casanova was often kind, citing one instance where he convinced a French duchess to accept his skincare advice, including cutting out certain food and drink, by falsely claiming it was rooted in the Jewish mystical tradition of kabbalah.
More controversially, the Italian libertine persuaded Giustiniana Wynne, an unmarried woman pregnant by a lover, that his recommended abortion treatment should be applied during intercourse with him.
The writings of the Venetian adventurer, who claimed to have slept with more than 130 lovers, have long been devoured for their accounts of his sexual conquests. Pictured, David Tennant playing the libertine for a BBC1 drama in 2005
His 'treatment' failed and she gave birth in a convent. However, Ms Lovett argues that people from history should not be judged by today's standards.
Casanova also educated women about contraception, showing one young lady he had not yet slept with 'a packet of fine English letters' and explaining their use, provoking 'a burst of laughter'.
Although he believed that popular though discredited, treatments such as bleeding and mercury could be effective in certain circumstances, Casanova also recognised dangers in their use as cure-alls.
Ms Lovett believes that Casanova suffered from clinical depression in his later life and spent at least 10 hours a day writing his memoirs to distract himself from 'black melancholy'.
'He was a toweringly intelligent man - something that people are not really aware of these days because he has been eclipsed by the stereotypes around his sexual interests,' she told the Times.
'Eighteenth-century medical practice is considered a niche area and might appear rather dry but the stories Casanova relates are so funny or so tragic, I thought this would be a very good way of seducing somebody into reading about it.'
WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT CASANOVA?
Much of what we know about Casanova comes from his memoir, Histoire De Ma Vie (pictured)
Born in Venice in 1725 and dismissed as a sickly imbecile during the first eight years of his life.
He defied his parents' lack of expectation in him and rose to become an intellectual man.
Destined in his youth for a high-flown career in the church, Casanova gave it up to become a soldier, a gambler, an adventurer, a businessman, an author and a con-man - and most of all to pursue the fair sex.
He had lost his virginity at the age of 16 in the arms of two sisters who, far from being reluctant to be seduced, threw themselves at him.
At just under 6ft tall, he is believed to have been an attractive man, with swarthy skin and a mane of dark curls.
In bed, he made sure the women he made love to enjoyed themselves as much as he did, claiming that their pleasure made up four-fifths of his own.
More than two centuries after Casanova's death, his name is still a synonym for every playboy philanderer.
He was the eldest of six children to a woman who was widowed in her mid-20s and struggled to cope with her expanding family.
He was sent on his ninth birthday to the city of Padua and never lived wit his mother again.
It is said his abandonment issues stemmed from this and laid the foundations for his womanising ways.
He was subsequently left broken-hearted by his first love, a nun known only as M.M., as Casanova named her in Histoire De Ma Vie, the memoir he wrote during his poverty-stricken old age.
Casanova fell deeply in love with M. M and became her devoted slave for two years. She, on the other hand, always put the needs of he other lover, French Ambassador François de Bernis, before his.
She would even coax Casanova into putting on a display of sexual fireworks for the benefit of the voyeur.
Desperate for love, yet unable to accept it when it was presented to him on a plate, he proved a soft touch to manipulative women. Money poured through his generous fingers into their open palms.
Trapped by poverty, he spent his last 13 years working as a librarian in a remote corner of Bohemia.
He had lost everything through his craving for women's approval: his money, his independence, his freedom to roam and even his looks.
Where to Play Crossword Games Online
Here’s a quick overview of the best free crossword puzzles that you can find online, either on mobile devices or your desktop. We recommend playing on a tablet that way, it’s easier to read most crossword puzzle games. Free puzzles can be found with difficulties ranging from easy to hard. For instance, one can find pretty easy online crossword puzzles from USA Today, but if you really want a hard puzzle, pick the New York Times crossword on Saturday.
Remember that if you get stuck on your daily crossword, answers can be found easily with our clue-finder!
Newspapers With Free Online Crossword Puzzles
- New York Times Crossword: Answers for this world-famous puzzle get more difficult to figure out throughout the week, with the easiest on Monday, the hardest on Saturday, and a larger, more iconic puzzle with a moderate difficulty level on Sunday. They’re frequently themed. You can download an app for the NYT mini-crossword that’s a lot of fun as well.
- LA Times Crossword: Solution-finding is just as hard with this paper, originally founded in 1881. People frequently ask, “What are the answers to today’s LA Times crossword?”
- USA Today Crossword: Besides free crosswords, USA Today also offers other games, like sudoku and mahjong.
- Washington Post Crossword: Their daily crosswords are free and fun to play. They also have a “Monthly Meta Crossword” that’s themed.
- WSJ Crossword: The Wall Street Journal’s puzzles are, in their words, “America’s most elegant, adventurous, and addictive crosswords.” They’re frequently themed and can be quite difficult to figure out crossword solutions for.
- AARP Crossword: AARP members can compete for top scores.
- Boston Globe Crossword: This New England newspaper has its own fun crossword puzzle game.
- Newsday Crossword: One man, Stan Newman, has been editing these puzzles for more than 30 years.
The Best Crossword Apps
- Word Crossy: Cheats for Word Crossy can be found with our crossword-solver tool. Imagine crosswords but with coin collection and competition.
- Crosswords With Friends: It’s like Words With Friends but with a crossword puzzle instead!
- One Clue Crossword: Answers can be difficult to figure out when you only get one clue, which is typically a picture.
- CodyCross: A fun app that’s not quite Scrabble or a crossword, CodyCross is an updated version of the classic word puzzle. See our special cheats for winning at CodyCross for help.
- Merriam-Webster Dictionary Crossword: The dictionary has a ton of word games, and this is just one of them.
- World’s Biggest Crossword: Help yourself to the most popular crossword app in the App Store.
- Wordscapes: Another app that’s not completely simple crosswords but more of a mix, Wordscapes is a lot of fun and great for people who aren’t great spellers.
- Shortyz: Chose from all the big-name newspaper crosswords online in one app.
The Great Gatsby Chapter 4 Analysis
How does the text of this chapter invoke the major themes of the novel? Let's investigate.
Society and Class. The list of East and West Egg names clearly ties into Tom's earlier fixation on the book about the "white race" being in danger of being overwhelmed by "other races". Here, we see that the people who until very recently were newcomer immigrants to America are now becoming rich enough to populate West Egg – and it is because of this seeming encroachment that the old money society is circling its wagons ever more. It is interesting that Gatsby's mansion is a kind of demilitarized zone where these two groups of people encounter each other.
The American Dream. Gatsby's attempt to sell Nick on an origin story of himself as the scion of a wealthy family again points to his desire for self-invention and self-mythologizing. It also shows that he doesn't want to present himself as an American Dream success story, but instead as an old money part of the upper crust.
Morality and Ethics. The introduction of Meyer Wolfshiem focuses our attention on the criminal enterprise pervading the Roaring 20s during the Prohibition. Meyer's active and powerful effect on the world around him – his ability to single-handedly fix the 1919 World Series – contrasts with the two other wealthy men we have met so far. Gatsby clearly at least somewhat admires Meyer's abilities and also pursues his desire with a big and bold play. Tom, meanwhile, is powerful only in a physically intimidating way, but has neither the vision nor the follow-through for any large accomplishments.
Love, Desire, and Relationships. The marriage of Tom and Daisy gets more complicated when we see that Daisy had had some kind of romantic connection with Gatsby beforehand, that she had extreme cold feet before going through with the wedding, and that Tom started having affairs as soon as their honeymoon ended. This gives context to some of Daisy's earlier despair and of course paints Tom in an even worse light.
Unreliable Narrator. Finally, we get a chance to see what a different kind of narrator would do with this story when Jordan takes over the storytelling duties for a while. She is judgmental, quick to mock her subjects, but the story she tells is psychologically cohesive and doesn't contradict what we now know of the characters. We are left wondering whether a narrator who puts all their biases up front is better than one who pretends to be totally objective like Nick.
Tom's MO is to buy love - he pacifies Daisy's cold feet with pearls, and later finds Myrtle's moral qualms much cheaper to overcome.
Crucial Character Beats
- Gatsby tells Nick an origin story: he's the son of wealthy now-dead Midwesterners, he went to Oxford, and then he fought bravely in WWI. Not only that, but he has a medal and a photograph to prove it!
- Gatsby introduces Nick to Meyer Wolfshiem. He is clearly affiliated with the Jewish mafia. (In fact, he is based on the real-life gangster Arnold Rothstein.) He is depicted with every horrible anti-Semitic stereotype available – everything from his appearance to the way he speaks is a racist caricature.
- Jordan fills Nick on Daisy and Tom's wedding. Daisy had had a romantic connection with Jay Gatsby before then, but ended up marrying Tom after a night of hysterically crying about wanting to call it off. A few months after the wedding, Tom was already cheating on her.
- Jordan also tells Nick that Gatsby bought the house across the bay from Tom and Daisy's on purpose. He wants Nick to invite Daisy over so that Gatsby can then "accidentally" stop by.
The Great Gatsby (1925)/Chapter 9
After two years I remember the rest of that day, and that night and the next day, only as an endless drill of police and photographers and newspaper men in and out of Gatsby’s front door. A rope stretched across the main gate and a policeman by it kept out the curious, but little boys soon discovered that they could enter through my yard, and there were always a few of them clustered open-mouthed about the pool. Some one with a positive manner, perhaps a detective, used the expression “madman” as he bent over Wilson’s body that afternoon, and the adventitious authority of his voice set the key for the newspaper reports next morning.
Most of those reports were a nightmare—grotesque, circumstantial, eager, and untrue. When Michaelis’s testimony at the inquest brought to light Wilson’s suspicions of his wife I thought the whole tale would shortly be served up in racy pasquinade—but Catherine, who might have said anything, didn’t say a word. She showed a surprising amount of character about it too—looked at the coroner with determined eyes under that corrected brow of hers, and swore that her sister had never seen Gatsby, that her sister was completely happy with her hus band, that her sister had been into no mischief whatever. She convinced herself of it, and cried into her handkerchief, as if the very suggestion was more than she could endure. So Wilson was reduced to a man “deranged by grief” in order that the case might remain in its simplest form. And it rested there.
But all this part of it seemed remote and unessential. I found myself on Gatsby’s side, and alone. From the moment I telephoned news of the catastrophe to West Egg village, every surmise about him, and every practical question, was referred to me. At first I was surprised and confused then, as he lay in his house and didn’t move or breathe or speak, hour upon hour, it grew upon me that I was responsible, because no one else was interested—interested, I mean, with that intense personal interest to which every one has some vague right at the end.
I called up Daisy half an hour after we found him, called her instinctively and without hesitation. But she and Tom had gone away early that afternoon, and taken baggage with them.
“Any idea where they are? How I could reach them?”
I wanted to get somebody for him. I wanted to go into the room where he lay and reassure him: “I’ll get somebody for you, Gatsby. Don’t worry. Just trust me and I’ll get somebody for you—”
Meyer Wolfshiem’s name wasn’t in the phone book. The butler gave me his office address on Broadway, and I called Information, but by the time I had the number it was long after five, and no one answered the phone.
“I’ve rung them three times.”
“Sorry. I’m afraid no one’s there.”
I went back to the drawing-room and thought for an instant that they were chance visitors, all these official people who suddenly filled it. But, though they drew back the sheet and looked at Gatsby with shocked eyes, his protest continued in my brain:
“Look here, old sport, you’ve got to get somebody for me. You’ve got to try hard. I can’t go through this alone.”
Some one started to ask me questions, but I broke away and going up-stairs looked hastily through the unlocked parts of his desk—he’d never told me definitely that his parents were dead. But there was nothing—only the picture of Dan Cody, a token of forgotten violence, staring down from the wall.
Next morning I sent the butler to New York with a letter to Wolfshiem, which asked for information and urged him to come out on the next train. That request seemed superfluous when I wrote it. I was sure he’d start when he saw the newspapers, just as I was sure there’d be a wire from Daisy before noon—but neither a wire nor Mr. Wolfshiem arrived no one arrived except more police and photographers and newspaper men. When the butler brought back Wolfshiem’s answer I began to have a feeling of defiance, of scornful solidarity between Gatsby and me against them all.
Dear Mr. Carraway. This has been one of the most terrible shocks of my life to me I hardly can believe it that it is true at all. Such a mad act as that man did should make us all think. I cannot come down now as I am tied up in some very important business and cannot get mixed up in this thing now. If there is anything I can do a little later let me know in a letter by Edgar. I hardly know where I am when I hear about a thing like this and am completely knocked down and out.
and then hasty addenda beneath:
Let me know about the funeral etc do not know his family at all.
When the phone rang that afternoon and Long Distance said Chicago was calling I thought this would be Daisy at last. But the connection came through as a man’s voice, very thin and far away.
“Yes?” The name was unfamiliar.
“Hell of a note, isn’t it? Get my wire?”
“There haven’t been any wires.”
“Young Parke’s in trouble,” he said rapidly. “They picked him up when he handed the bonds over the counter. They got a circular from New York giving ’em the numbers just five minutes before. What d’you know about that, hey? You never can tell in these hick towns—”
“Hello!” I interrupted breathlessly. “Look here—this isn’t Mr. Gatsby. Mr. Gatsby’s dead.”
I think it was on the third day that a telegram signed Henry C. Gatz arrived from a town in Minnesota. It said only that the sender was leaving immediately and to postpone the funeral until he came.
It was Gatsby’s father, a solemn old man, very helpless and dismayed, bundled up in a long cheap ulster against the warm September day. His eyes leaked continuously with excitement, and when I took the bag and umbrella from his hands he began to pull so incessantly at his sparse gray beard that I had difficulty in getting off his coat. He was on the point of collapse, so I took him into the music room and made him sit down while I sent for something to eat. But he wouldn’t eat, and the glass of milk spilled from his trembling hand.
“I saw it in the Chicago newspaper,” he said. “It was all in the Chicago newspaper. I started right away.”
“I didn’t know how to reach you.”
His eyes, seeing nothing, moved ceaselessly about the room.
“It was a madman,” he said. “He must have been mad.”
“Wouldn’t you like some coffee?” I urged him.
“I don’t want anything. I’m all right now, Mr—”
“Well, I’m all right now. Where have they got Jimmy?”
I took him into the drawing-room, where his son lay, and left him there. Some little boys had come up on the steps and were looking into the hall when I told them who had arrived, they went reluctantly away.
After a little while Mr. Gatz opened the door and came out, his mouth ajar, his face flushed slightly, his eyes leaking isolated and unpunctual tears. He had reached an age where death no longer has the quality of ghastly surprise, and when he looked around him now for the first time and saw the height and splendor of the hall and the great rooms opening out from it into other rooms, his grief began to be mixed with an awed pride. I helped him to a bedroom up-stairs while he took off his coat and vest I told him that all arrangements had been deferred until he came.
“I didn’t know what you’d want, Mr. Gatsby—”
“—Mr. Gatz. I thought you might want to take the body West.”
“Jimmy always liked it better down East. He rose up to his position in the East. Were you a friend of my boy’s, Mr. —?”
“He had a big future before him, you know. He was only a young man, but he had a lot of brain power here.”
He touched his head impressively, and I nodded.
“If he’d of lived, he’d of been a great man. A man like James J. Hill. He’d of helped build up the country.”
“That’s true,” I said, uncomfortably.
He fumbled at the embroidered coverlet, trying to take it from the bed, and lay down stiffly—was instantly asleep.
That night an obviously frightenea person called up, and demanded to know who I was before he would give his name.
“This is Mr. Carraway,” I said.
“Oh!” He sounded relieved. “This is Klipspringer.”
I was relieved too, for that seemed to promise another friend at Gatsby’s grave. I didn’t want it to be in the papers and draw a sightseeing crowd, so I’d been calling up a few people myself. They were hard to find.
“The funeral’s to-morrow,” I said. “Three o’clock, here at the house. I wish you’d tell anybody who’d be interested.”
“Oh, I will,” he broke out hastily. “Of course I’m not likely to see anybody, but if I do.”
His tone made me suspicious.
“Of course you’ll be there yourself.”
“Well, I’ll certainly try. What I called up about is—”
“Wait a minute,” I interrupted. “How about saying you’ll come?”
“Well, the fact is—the truth of the matter is that I’m staying with some people up here in Greenwich, and they rather expect me to be with them tomorrow. In fact, there’s a sort of picnic or something. Of course I’ll do my very best to get away.”
I ejaculated an unrestrained “Huh!” and he must have heard me, for he went on nervously:
“What I called up about was a pair of shoes I left there. I wonder if it’d be too much trouble to have the butler send them on. You see, they’re tennis shoes, and I’m sort of helpless without them. My address is care of B. F.—”
I didn’t hear the rest of the name, because I hung up the receiver.
After that I felt a certain shame for Gatsby—one gentleman to whom I telephoned implied that he had got what he deserved. However, that was my fault, for he was one of those who used to sneer most bitterly at Gatsby on the courage of Gatsby’s liquor, and I should have known better than to call him.
The morning of the funeral I went up to New York to see Meyer Wolfshiem I couldn’t seem to reach him any other way. The door that I pushed open, on the advice of an elevator boy, was marked “The Swastika Holding Company,” and at first there didn’t seem to be any one inside. But when I’d shouted “hello” several times in vain, an argument broke out behind a partition, and presently a lovely Jewess appeared at an interior door and scrutinized me with black hostile eyes.
“Nobody’s in,” she said. “Mr. Wolfshiem’s gone to Chicago.”
The first part of this was obviously untrue, for some one had begun to whistle “The Rosary,” tunelessly, inside.
“Please say that Mr. Carraway wants to see him.”
“I can’t get him back from Chicago, can I?”
At this moment a voice, unmistakably Wolfs hiem’s, called “Stella!” from the other side of the door.
“Leave your name on the desk,” she said quickly. “I’ll give it to him when he gets back.”
She took a step toward me and began to slide her hands indignantly up and down her hips.
“You young men think you can force your way in here any time,” she scolded. “We’re getting sick in tired of it. When I say he’s in Chicago, he’s in Chicago.”
“Oh-h!” She looked at me over again. ‘‘Will you just—What was your name?”
She vanished. In a moment Meyer Wolfsheim stood solemnly in the doorway, holding out both hands. He drew me into his office, remarking in a reverent voice that it was a sad time for all of us, and offered me a cigar.
“My memory goes back to when first I met him,” he said. “A young major just out of the army and covered over with medals he got in the war. He was so hard up he had to keep on wearing his uniform because he couldn’t buy some regular clothes. First time I saw him was when he come into Winebrenner’s poolroom at Forty-third Street and asked for a job. He hadn’t eat anything for a couple of days. ‘Come on have some lunch with me,’ I sid. He ate more than four dollars’ worth of food in half an hour.”
“Did you start him in business?” I inquired.
“I raised him up out of nothing, right out of the gutter. I saw right away he was a fine-appearing, gentlemanly young man, and when he told me he was an Oggsford I knew I could use him good. I got him to join up in the American Legion and he used to stand high there. Right off he did some work for a client of mine up to Albany. We were so thick like that in everything”—he held up two bulbous fingers—“always together.”
I wondered if this partnership had included the World’s Series transaction in 1919.
“Now he’s dead,” I said after a moment. “You were his closest friend, so I know you'll want to come to his funeral this afternoon.”
The hair in his nostrils quivered slightly, and as he shook his head his eyes filled with tears.
“I can’t do it—I can’t get mixed up in it,” he said.
“There’s nothing to get mixed up in. It’s all over now.”
“When a man gets killed I never like to get mixed up in it in any way. I keep out. When I was a young man it was different—if a friend of mine died, no matter how, I stuck with them to the end. You may think that’s sentimental, but I mean it—to the bitter end.”
I saw that for some reason of his own he was determined not to come, so I stood up.
“Are you a college man?” he inquired suddenly.
For a moment I thought he was going to suggest a “gonnegtion,” but he only nodded and shook my hand.
“Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive and not after he is dead,” he suggested. “After that my own rule is to let everything alone.”
When I left his office the sky had turned dark and I got back to West Egg in a drizzle. After changing my clothes I went next door and found Mr. Gatz walking up and down excitedly in the hall. His pride in his son and in his son’s possessions was continually increasing and now he had something to show me.
“Jimmy sent me this picture.” He took out his wallet with trembling fingers. “Look there.”
It was a photograph of the house, cracked in the corners and dirty with many hands. He pointed out every detail to me eagerly. “Look there!” and then sought admiration from my eyes. He had shown it so often that I think it was more real to him now than the house itself.
“Jimmy sent it to me. I think it’s a very pretty picture. It shows up well.”
“Very well. Had you seen him lately?”
“He come out to see me two years ago and bought me the house I live in now. Of course we was broke up when he run off from home, but I see now there was a reason for it. He knew he had a big future in front of him. And ever since he made a success he was very generous with me.”
He seemed reluctant to put away the picture, held it for another minute, lingeringly, before my eyes. Then he returned the wallet and pulled from his pocket a ragged old copy of a book called “Hopalong Cassidy.”
“Look here, this is a book he had when he was a boy. It just shows you.”
He opened it at the back cover and turned it around for me to see. On the last fly-leaf was printed the word SCHEDULE , and the date September 12, 1906. And underneath:
No wasting time at Shafters or [a name, indecipherable]
No more smokeing or chewing.
Bath every other day
Read one improving book or magazine per week
Save $5.00 [crossed out] $3.00 per week
Be better to parents
“I come across this book by accident,” said the old man. “It just shows you, don’t it?”
“Jimmy was bound to get ahead. He always had some resolves like this or something. Do you notice what he’s got about improving his mind? He was always great for that. He told me I et like a hog once, and I beat him for it.”
He was reluctant to close the book, reading each item aloud and then looking eagerly at me. I think he rather expected me to copy down the list for my own use.
A little before three the Lutheran minister arrived from Flushing, and I began to look involuntarily out the windows for other cars. So did Gatsby’s father. And as the time passed and the servants came in and stood waiting in the hall, his eyes began to blink anxiously, and he spoke of the rain in a worried, uncertain way. The minister glanced several times at his watch, so I took him aside and asked him to wait for half an hour. But it wasn’t any use. Nobody came.
About five o’clock our procession of three cars reached the cemetery and stopped in a thick drizzle beside the gate—first a motor hearse, horribly black and wet, then Mr. Gatz and the minister and I in the limousine, and a little later four or five servants and the postman from West Egg, in Gatsby’s station wagon, all wet to the skin. As we started through the gate into the cemetery I heard a car stop and then the sound of some one splashing after us over the soggy ground. I looked around. It was the man with owl-eyed glasses whom I had found marvelling over Gatsby’s books in the library one night three months before.
I'd never seen him since then. I don’t know how he knew about the funeral, or even his name. The rain poured down his thick glasses, and he took them off and wiped them to see the protecting canvas unrolled from Gatsby’s grave.
I tried to think about Gatsby then for a moment, but he was already too far away, and I could only remember, without resentment, that Daisy hadn’t sent a message or a flower. Dimly I heard some one murmur “Blessed are the dead that the rain falls on,” and then the owl-eyed man said “Amen to that,” in a brave voice.
We straggled down quickly through the rain to the cars. Owl-eyes spoke to me by the gate.
“I couldn’t get to the house,” he remarked.
“Neither could anybody else.”
“Go on!” He started. “Why, my God! they used to go there by the hundreds.”
He took off his glasses and wiped them again, outside and in.
“The poor son-of-a-bitch,” he said.
One of my most vivid memories is of coming back West from prep school and later from college at Christmas time. Those who went farther than Chicago would gather in the old dim Union Street station at six o’clock of a December evening, with a few Chicago friends, already caught up into their own holiday gayeties, to bid them a hasty good-by. I remember the fur coats of the girls returning from Miss This-or-That’s and the chatter of frozen breath and the hands waving overhead as we caught sight of old acquaintances, and the matchings of invitations: “Are you going to the Ordways’? the Herseys’? the Schultzes’?” and the long green tickets clasped tight in our gloved hands. And last the murky yellow cars of the Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul railroad looking cheerful as Christmas itself on the tracks beside the gate.
When we pulled out into the winter night and the real snow, our snow, began to stretch out beside us and twinkle against the windows, and the dim lights of small Wisconsin stations moved by, a sharp wild brace came suddenly into the air. We drew in deep breaths of it as we walked back from dinner through the cold vestibules, unutterably aware of our identity with this country for one strange hour, before we melted indistinguishably into it again.
That’s my Middle West—not the wheat or the prairies or the lost Swede towns, but the thrilling returning trains of my youth, and the street lamps and sleigh bells in the frosty dark and the shadows of holly wreaths thrown by lighted windows on the snow. I am part of that, a little solemn with the feel of those long winters, a little complacent from growing up in the Carraway house in a city where dwellings are still called through decades by a family’s name. I see now that this has been a story of the West, after all—Tom and Gatsby, Daisy and Jordan and I, were all Westerners, and perhaps we possessed some deficiency in common which made us subtly unadaptable to Eastern life.
Even when the East excited me most, even when I was most keenly aware of its superiority to the bored, sprawling, swollen towns beyond the Ohio, with their interminable inquisitions which spared only the children and the very old—even then it had always for me a quality of distortion. West Egg, especially, still figures in my more fantastic dreams. I see it as a night scene by El Greco: a hundred houses, at once conventional and grotesque, crouching under a sullen, overhanging sky and a lustreless moon. In the foreground four solemn men in dress suits are walking along the sidewalk with a stretcher on which lies a drunken woman in a white evening dress. Her hand, which dangles over the side, sparkles cold with jewels. Gravely the men turn in at a house—the wrong house. But no one knows the woman’s name, and no one cares.
After Gatsby’s death the East was haunted for me like that, distorted beyond my eyes’ power of correction. So when the blue smoke of brittle leaves was in the air and the wind blew the wet laundry stiff on the line I decided to come back home.
There was one thing to be done before I left, an awkward, unpleasant thing that perhaps had better have been let alone. But I wanted to leave things in order and not just trust that obliging and indifferent sea to sweep my refuse away. I saw Jordan Baker and talked over and around what had happened to us together, and what had happened afterward to me, and she lay perfectly still, listening, in a big chair.
She was dressed to play golf, and I remember thinking she looked like a good illustration, her chin raised a little jauntily, her hair the color of an autumn leaf, her face the same brown tint as the fingerless glove on her knee. When I had finished she told me without comment that she was engaged to another man. I doubted that, though there were several she could have married at a nod of her head, but I pretended to be surprised. For just a minute I wondered if I wasn’t making a mistake, then I thought it all over again quickly and got up to say good-by.
“Nevertheless you did throw me over,” said Jordan suddenly. ‘‘You threw me over on the telephone. I don’t give a damn about you now, but it was a new experience for me, and I felt a little dizzy for a while.”
“Oh, and do you remember”—she added—“a conversation we had once about driving a car?”
“You said a bad driver was only safe until she met another bad driver? Well, I met another bad driver, didn’t I? I mean it was careless of me to make such a wrong guess. I thought you were rather an honest, straightforward person. I thought it was your secret pride.”
“I’m thirty,” I said. “I’m five years too old to lie to myself and call it honor.”
She didn’t answer. Angry, and half in love with her, and tremendously sorry, I turned away.
One afternoon late in October I saw Tom Buchanan. He was walking ahead of me along Fifth Avenue in his alert, aggressive way, his hands out a little from his body as if to fight off interference, his head moving sharply here and there, adapting itself to his restless eyes. Just as I slowed up to avoid overtaking him he stopped and began frowning into the windows of a jewelry store. Suddenly he saw me and walked back, holding out his hand.
“What’s the matter, Nick? Do you object to shaking hands with me?”
“Yes. You know what I think of you.”
“You're crazy, Nick,” he said quickly. “Crazy as hell. I don’t know what’s the matter with you.”
“Tom,” I inquired, “what did you say to Wilson that afternoon?”
He stared at me without a word, and I knew I had guessed right about those missing hours. I started to turn away, but he took a step after me and grabbed my arm.
“I told him the truth,” he said. “He came to the door while we were getting ready to leave, and when I sent down word that we weren’t in he tried to force his way up-stairs. He was crazy enough to kill me if I hadn’t told him who owned the car. His hand was on a revolver in his pocket every minute he was in the house—” He broke off defiantly. “What if I did tell him? That fellow had it coming to him. He threw dust into your eyes just like he did in Daisy’s, but he was a tough one. He ran over Myrtle like you’d run over a dog and never even stopped his car.”
There was nothing I could say, except the one unutterable fact that it wasn’t true.
“And if you think I didn’t have my share of suffering—look here, when I went to give up that flat and saw that damn box of dog biscuits sitting there on the sideboard, I sat down and cried like a baby. By God it was awful—”
I shook hands with him it seemed silly not to, for I felt suddenly as though I were talking to a child. Then he went into the jewelry store to buy a pearl necklace—or perhaps only a pair of cuff buttons—rid of my provincial squeamishness forever.
Gatsby’s house was still empty when I left—the grass on his lawn had grown as long as mine. One of the taxi drivers in the village never took a fare past the entrance gate without stopping for a minute and pointing inside perhaps it was he who drove Daisy and Gatsby over to East Egg the night of the accident, and perhaps he had made a story about it all his own. I didn’t want to hear it and I avoided him when I got off the train.
I spent my Saturday nights in New York because those gleaming, dazzling parties of his were with me so vividly that I could still hear the music and the laughter, faint and incessant, from his garden, and the cars going up and down his drive. One night I did hear a material car there, and saw its lights stop at his front steps. But I didn’t investigate. Probably it was some final guest who had been away at the ends of the earth and didn’t know that the party was over.
On the last night, with my trunk packed and my car sold to the grocer, I went over and looked at that huge incoherent failure of a house once more. On the white steps an obscene word, scrawled by some boy with a piece of brick, stood out clearly in the moonlight, and I erased it, drawing my shoe raspingly along the stone. Then I wandered down to the beach and sprawled out on the sand.
Most of the big shore places were closed now and there were hardly any lights except the shadowy, moving glow of a ferryboat across the Sound. And as the moon rose higher the inessential houses began to melt away until gradually I became aware of the old island here that flowered once for Dutch sailors’ eyes—a fresh, green breast of the new world. Its vanished trees, the trees that had made way for Gatsby’s house, had once pandered in whispers to the last and greatest of all human dreams for a transitory enchanted moment man must have held his breath in the presence of this continent, compelled into an esthetic contemplation he neither understood nor desired, face to face for the last time in history with something commensurate to his capacity for wonder.
And as I sat there brooding on the old, unknown world, I thought of Gatsby’s wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of Daisy’s dock. He had come a long way to this blue lawn, and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Nicks went on to work with rocker Sheryl Crow on Nicks&apos solo release, Trouble in Shangri-La. She also put out a new album with Fleetwood Mac, Say You, Will, in 2003. Since then, Nicks has recorded and performed as a solo act and as a member of Fleetwood Mac. Her band, unfortunately, had to cancel part of their 2013 tour because of John McVie&aposs ill health.
In 2014, Stevie released the album 24 Karat Gold: Songs from the Vault, comprised of new versions of demos recorded decades earlier. That year, she also served as an adviser for Adam Levine&aposs team on the singing competition show The Voice, and appeared in two episodes of the cable drama American Horror Story.
|First aired||Last aired|
|Pilots||3||September 17, 1976 ( 1976-09-17 )||May 5, 1977 ( 1977-05-05 )|
|1||25||September 24, 1977 ( 1977-09-24 )||May 20, 1978 ( 1978-05-20 )|
|2||27||September 16, 1978 ( 1978-09-16 )||May 12, 1979 ( 1979-05-12 )|
|3||28||September 15, 1979 ( 1979-09-15 )||May 3, 1980 ( 1980-05-03 )|
|4||28||October 25, 1980 ( 1980-10-25 )||May 16, 1981 ( 1981-05-16 )|
|5||29||October 3, 1981 ( 1981-10-03 )||May 15, 1982 ( 1982-05-15 )|
|6||29||October 2, 1982 ( 1982-10-02 )||May 7, 1983 ( 1983-05-07 )|
|7||27||October 1, 1983 ( 1983-10-01 )||May 12, 1984 ( 1984-05-12 )|
|8||27||September 22, 1984 ( 1984-09-22 )||May 4, 1985 ( 1985-05-04 )|
|9||25||September 28, 1985 ( 1985-09-28 )||May 24, 1986 ( 1986-05-24 )|
|Specials||5||November 21, 1986 ( 1986-11-21 )||February 12, 1990 ( 1990-02-12 )|
Pilot movies: 1976–77 Edit
Final pilot movie. It includes the storylines The Newlyweds The Exchange and Cleo's First Voyage. It introduces regular series cast members Gavin MacLeod as Captain Stubing and Lauren Tewes as Julie the cruise director. Guest stars include Georgia Engel as a stowaway, Gary Frank and Melanie Mayron as a pair of tremulous honeymooners, Stella Stevens and Pat Harrington as an eternally bickering married couple, and Audra Lindley and Phil Silvers as respectively, an outspoken middle-aged lady and a woebegone widower.
Guest Stars: Georgia Engel as Cleo Bagby, Gary Frank as Stanley Adams, Pat Harrington Jr. as Ernie Klopman (credited as Pat Harrington), Audra Lindley as Mae Allen, Melanie Mayron as Joyce Adams, Phil Silvers as Morris Beckman, and Stella Stevens as Leonara Klopman.
Season 1: 1977–78 Edit
Captain Stubing's ex-wife (Bonnie Franklin) is a passenger with her new husband (Robert Symonds), a cruise line executive. She makes the crew pay for her animosity with the Captain. A former centerfold model (Meredith Baxter) struggles to hide her past from her fiancé who is a Congressman. A woman (Brenda Sykes) is followed by her boyfriend (Jimmie Walker) whom she dumped because he won't commit to marriage.
Guest stars: Meredith Baxter as Sandy Rytell (credited as Meredith Baxter Birney), Bonnie Franklin as Stacy Skaugstad, Captain Stubing's Ex-Wife, Shelly Novack as Congressman Brad Brockway, Suzanne Somers as Lorraine Hoffman, Brenda Sykes as Ginny O'Brien, and Jimmie Walker as Ronald Baker.
Other Guests: Robert Symonds as Aubrey Skaugstag, Gertrude Flynn as Mrs. Pendleton, Chris Capen as College Guy, and Ted Chapman as Man with the Burning Magazine (credited as 'Man').
A man (John Ritter) poses as a woman because the only available cabin he could share was already occupied by another woman (Tovah Feldshuh). A quarreling couple (Sherman Hemsley, LaWanda Page) is trapped in an elevator. A tycoon hires a detective (Dennis Cole) to find out if his wife (Jaclyn Smith) is cheating.
Guest Stars: Dennis Cole as Dennis Kingsley, Tovah Feldshuh as Susan Ridley, Sherman Hemsley as Maurice Marshall, LaWanda Page as Stella Marshall, John Ritter as Dale Riley / Dale Reinhardt, and Jaclyn Smith as Janette Bradford.
Other Guests: Jennifer Shaw as Joanne Pringle (credited as Joanne), David Knapp as Lucas Bradford (credited as Lucas), Craig Littler as Carl Daggett, Tiiu Leek as Linda Daggett, and Mark Thomas as Peter Pringle.
‘’Others:’’ Nick Borgan, Monty O'Grady and George Tracy as Ship Passengers (uncredited), and Jack Perkins as Drunk in Men's Room (uncredited).
There is an unknown woman (uncredited) wearing a bikini top and a towel who has one line, “Adam,” when she interrupts Doc teaching Janette how to play solitaire. Doc introduces her as Greta Wilkes, and said he had promised her a tour of the ship.
A man (Robert Reed) and woman (Loretta Swit) who are divorced from each other meet. Two teens (Kristy McNichol, Scott Baio) fall in love. A senior-citizens' guide (Charles Frank) is kept busy by his group and interfering with his romance with Julie.
Guest Stars: Edward Andrews as Seniors Group Leader, Harry, Hermione Baddeley as Mrs. Kitty Pickrel, Scott Baio as Graham D. Pickrel II, Pamela Bellwood as Judy Watson, Charles Frank as Jim Wright, Seniors' Chaperone, Kristy McNichol as Kelly Rixie, Richard Mulligan as Ron Larsen, Robert Reed as Barney Mason, and Loretta Swit as Terry Larsen.
A sportswriter (Bill Bixby) romances a sidelined tennis pro (Brenda Benet), and they may have been a couple prior. Doc falls for a seasick stowaway (Charo). A practical joker (Milton Berle) plays one joke too many.
A paraplegic former tennis pro meets her critic, a sportswriter A Mexican stowaway creates havoc A practical joker learns a lesson.
Guest Stars: Brenda Benet as Maureen Mitchell, Milton Berle as Cyril Wolfe, Bill Bixby as John Ballard, Charo as April Lopez, and Audra Lindley as Anita Wolfe.
Other Guests: Mary Grace Canfield as Housekeeper, Britt Leach as Reverend Dickerson (credited as Rev. Dickerson), and Lynn Adams as Martha Dickerson (credited as Mrs. Dickerson).
Isaac's favorite singer, Roxy Blue (Diahann Carroll), becomes his lover. Talky Robert Tanner's (Jim Nabors) popularity increases when fellow passengers think he may be a jewel thief. Bert Fredericks (David Groh) plans his wife Denise's (Michele Lee) birthday party, but she thinks it's a murder plot.
Guest Stars: Diahann Carroll as Roxy Blue, David Gro as Bert Fredericks, Michele Lee as Denise Fredericks, Jim Nabors as Robert Tanner (later claims to be 'Roscoe Toller'), and Reva Rose as Myra Grove.
Has-been comic Barry Keys (Phil Foster) asks Julie to let him entertain on board to return a favor. Mrs. Warner (Ruth Gordon) is determined to marry off her granddaughter Shirley (Patty Duke). College pals bet on whether virginal Dan (Robert Hegyes) changes his status before the cruise ends.
Guest Stars: Patty Duke as Shirley Warner (credited as Patty Duke Astin), Phil Foster as Barry Keys, Ruth Gordon as Mrs. Warner, Robert Hegyes as Danny, Tab Hunter as Dave King, Maureen McCormick as Barbara Holmes, and John Mark Robinson as Lee.
Identical twins (Diana Canova in a dual role) bewilder a smitten Doc. Julie tries to dodge a former beau (David Hedison). The crew blames a "jinxed" couple (Ray Bolger, Harriet Nelson) for a series of accidents.
Guest Stars: Ray Bolger as Horace McDonald, Harriet Nelson as Henrietta McDonald, Diana Canova as Ellen Edwards / Helen Edwards, and David Hedison as Buddy Stanfield.
A cruise-director trainee (Jo Ann Harris) is after Julie's job. A bickering married couple (Polly Bergen, Steve Allen) pose as swinging singles. A childless couple (Sandy Duncan, Jim Stafford) take in a young runaway (James Bond III).
Guest Stars: Steve Allen as Durwood Moss, Polly Bergen as Maisie Nolan, Sandy Duncan as Sharon Baker, Jo Ann Harris as Connie Evans, and Jim Stafford as Richard Baker.
Three women (Jane Curtin), Susan Heldfond, (Joanna Kerns) romance—but complications occur when they try to dump three men. The Captain's father (Phil Silvers) visits and falls for a galley cook (Judy Canova). A security dog traps a passenger (Gary Burghoff) in his bathroom.
Guest Stars: Gary Burghoff as Donald M. Flanders, Judy Canova as P. J. Muldoon, Jane Curtin as Regina Parker, and Phil Silvers as Merrill Stubing, Sr. ('Stubby').
Other Guests: David Landsberg as Morton, Vincent Baggetta as Frank Vallone the plumber (credited as Vince Baggetta), Joanna Kerns as Beth Luckner, and Susan Heldfond as Toby Chapman.
Others: Peter Mensah as Passenger (uncredited).
Advice columnist Beverly Blanchard (Eva Gabor) neglects her husband, Russ (Leslie Nielsen), who thus spends time with a fellow passenger (Stephanie Blackmore). Captain Stubing wages war with a visiting chef, Antonio Borga (Al Molinaro). Julie's friend, Jeff Smith (Robert Urich), is separated from his wife, Gail (Pamela Franklin), but doesn't know that she's on board and carrying his child.
Guest Stars: Pamela Franklin as Gail Smith, Eva Gabor as Beverly Blanchard, Al Molinaro as Chef Antonio Borga, Leslie Nielsen as Russ Blanchard, and Robert Urich as Jeff Smith (credited as Bob Urich).
At Christmas, a lonely Captain Stubing alienates the crew by his lack of Christmas spirit. Ex-convict Dan Barton (John Gavin) meets his double-crossing law partner Walter Perry (Dean Santoro) on board and plans to get revenge, for being convicted of the crime the partner committed. Paul and Audrey Baynes (Shecky Greene, (Florence Henderson) fantasize about divorcing each other. Minister Father Mike (Dick Sargent) chaperones six orphans back to the orphanage in Mexico.
Guest Stars: John Gavin as Dan Barton, Shecky Greene as Paul Baynes, Florence Henderson as Audrey Baynes, Donna Mills as Lila Barton, and Dick Sargent as Father Mike.
A curmudgeon (Will Geer) strikes up a friendship with a runaway teen. Julie's old boyfriend (Anson Williams) rebuffs her advances. Inept painters (Arte Johnson), Pat Morita) make a shambles of the Captain's cabin.
Guest Stars: Will Geer as Franklyn Bootherstone, Arte Johnson as Ronald, Pat Morita as Vincent, Tom Poston as Mickey O'Day, and Anson Williams as Sean McGlynn.
Other Guests: Bayn Johnson as Nancy Brown.
Honeymooners (John Rubinstein), Kathy Bates) experience a nightmare of a honeymoon. A supermarket assistant manager (Bruce Solomon), traveling with his wife (Judy Luciano), poses as a hot-shot executive with the crew's connivance. A ship's steward (Bob Crane) is reunited with his long lost daughter (Dori Brenner).
Guest Stars: Bob Crane as Edward 'Teddy' Anderson, Rosemary DeCamp as Cynthia Loudon, Don DeFore as Everett Loudon, Robert Hays as Sam Bradley, John Rubinstein as George Allison, Bruce Solomon as Bill Edwards, David White as Greg Beatty, John Rubinstein as George Allison, and Kathy Bates as Sally Allison.
A thieving chimp almost wrecks Gopher's love life. Isaac's mother (Pearl Bailey) shocks her son by sharing quarters with her boyfriend. Feuding performers (Nanette Fabray), Don Adams) reunite for a show.
Guest Stars: Pearl Bailey as Millie Washington, Don Adams as Lenny Camen, Nanette Fabray as Mitzy Monroe, Allyn Ann McLerie as Cynthia Parker, Tracy Reed as Charlene Franks (credited as Tracey Reed), and introducing Louise the chimpanzee.
A Hollywood couple argue about a film he wants to produce, unaware that thieves are planning to rob them of a precious diamond in their possession. A blind girl is reunited with her schoolmate—who is no longer blind. A lawyer tries to keep his wife from finding out about his girlfriend who is also on the cruise. A masquerade ball highlights the conclusion of the voyage. The bumbling gang of thieves believe they have finally figured out a way to nab an elusive diamond, even as its owner comes to her own drastic decision on its fate A blind woman wonders if she can be happy with a former blind friend, who has regained his sight A man's wife and mistress discover who each other are.
A husband and wife (Fernando Lamas), Michele Lee), as a famous Hollywood couple, arrive with paparazzi. She is adorned in a famous gigantic diamond which, of course, entices dim-witted bumbling crooks (Harold Gould), Karen Valentine, Larry Storch, John Schuck), in a delightful caper reminiscent of old Hollywood. A husband (Dan Rowan) is chagrined into bringing his wife (Juliet Mills) on the cruise when she finds the tickets for his mistress (Adrienne Barbeau) and himself, with some unexpected surprises. Two former attendees of a blind school (Desi Arnaz Jr., Stephanie Zimbalist) are reunited. A masquerade night moves the plots right along.
Guest Stars: Harold Gould as Vernon Crowler / Captain Merrill Stubing, Fernando Lamas as Bill Teague, Michele Lee as Miss Roz Rogers, Juliet Mills as Barbara Danver, Dan Rowan as Alan Danver, Adrienne Barbeau as Cathy Randall, John Schuck as Ox, Larry Storch as Elwood Riggs, Karen Valentine as Taffy Martino, Desi Arnaz Jr. as Steve Hollis, and Stephanie Zimbalist as Jenny Lang.
Other Guests: Lea Vernon as TV Reporter, John J. Fox as Chauffeur, and Richard Lineback as Steward.
Others: John Hugh McKnight as Passenger (uncredited), and Paul Van as Maitre D' (uncredited).
A beauty contest on board ship divides a couple (Maureen McCormick, Bobby Sherman). A reporter (Vicki Lawrence) falls for a disgraced congressman (Dick Van Patten). A visiting college professor (Vernee Watson-Johnson) researching Black history disapproves of an older passenger's hambone moves – even though most of the others like it - and convinces Isaac to feel the same way, until they find out to their embarrassment that the man (Scatman Crothers) is one of the greatest pitchers in Negro leagues history.
Guest Stars: Scatman Crothers as Virgil 'Scattergun' Gibson, Graham Jarvis as Waldo Linden, Vicki Lawrence as Robin Brandt, Dick Van Patten as Congressman John Whitcomb, Maureen McCormick as Suzy Corbett, Bobby Sherman as Rick Leonard, and Vernee Watson-Johnson as Stephanie Hayden (credited as Vernée Watson).
Other Guests: Priscilla Barnes as Jeanette Arnold (credited as Jeanette), Maria O'Brien as Rita Almerez (credited as Rita), Melissa Tennille as Alma Hodges (credited as Alma), and Marianne Marks as Teresa Chen (credited as Teresa).
Captain Stubing's nephew turns out to be a klutz. An embezzler falls for a cop. Romance comes between two unmarried sisters.
Stubing's nephew (Peter Isacksen) comes on board to be trained to work on ships, like everyone in his family, but doesn't exactly do a good job at whatever he is told to do. Eventually, he reveals a secret to the crew that he can't tell Stubing. A man who stole a million dollars (Frank Converse) hooks up with a female passenger (Marcia Strassman) but when he reveals what he did, she reveals that she's a cop and intends to turn him in when they return. Two sisters (Pat Crowley, Marion Ross) come aboard and when one sister is attracted to a male passenger (Brett Halsey), her sister is jealous because she feels neglected.
Guest Stars: Frank Converse as Bill Thompson, Marcia Strassman as Stephanie Lewis, Pat Crowley as Noreen Badger, Marion Ross as Rose Higby, Brett Halsey as Clark Tyler, and Peter Isacksen as L. Courtney Stubing IV.
The crew is on its best behavior for an incognito cruise inspector while a Russian elderly man keeps asking the same phrase over and over. Illness affects an adoring couple (Susan Blanchard, Paul Burke). A children's book author (Jim Backus) tries to find inspiration on the cruise. Two girlfriends (Laurette Spang, Debralee Scott) cruise, and one is ignored by all the men on board while all the others hit on the other.
Guest Stars: Jim Backus as Mr. Marvin Waterman, Susan Blanchard as Sarah Lambert, Paul Burke as Brian Sherwood, Patti MacLeod (wife of Gavin MacLeod) as Mrs. Corwin, Debralee Scott as Jane Cole, Laurette Spang as Melanie Taylor, Bob Seagren as Mike Andrews, and Sal Viscuso as Doug Ketchum.
Other Guests: Jack Bernardi as Mr. Zidreczky and Don Bovingloh as Pianist (credited as Don Boevingloh).
A matchmaker uses a computer to pair up the cruise guests. He also manipulates it to pair himself with Julie. American gold-diggers pass themselves off as French. A New York ad executive and a long-lost love reunite.
Two American women (Barbi Benton, Susan Silo) pretend they are French, in order to get men and gifts. Julie is wooed by a man (Frankie Avalon) who runs a computer-dating service and offers his computer matchmaking for the Valentine's Day cruise. A woman (Patty Duke Astin) believes another passenger (Ricky Nelson), who has amnesia, is a former lost-love.
Guest Stars: Patty Duke as Lilly Mackim (credited as Patty Duke Astin), Frankie Avalon as Nick Heider, Barbi Benton as Brigitte LeBlanc, Denny Evans as Sam Worth, Jamie Farr as Seymour, Ricky Nelson as Ted Wilcox / Alex Fowler (credited as Rick Nelson), and Carole White as Penny Jacobs (credited as Carole Ita White).
Other Guests: Shelley Long as Heather McKenzie (credited as Heather), Lawrence P. Casey as Daryl Matson (credited as Lawrence Casey credited as Daryl), Susan Silo as Yvonne Boulanger (credited as Yvonne), Danny Dayton as Walt, and Georganne LaPiere as Betsy Carruthers (credited as Georganne La Piere credited as Betsy).
Others: Tom Brumley as Himself - Steel Guitarist, Al Anton as Chet Maxwell (uncredited), and Leoda Richards as Passenger (uncredited).
An elder couple's (Audrey Meadows, Robert Mandan) marriage problems affect a young couple's (Diana Canova, Robert Urich) marriage A passenger (Harvey Jason) tries to court a girl (Georgia Engel) who is being overprotected by Doc who happens to be a friend of her father A passenger (Harry Morgan) pays his debts by playing cards with a marked deck.
Also guest starring: Priscilla Morill, Herb Voland
A couple (Monty Hall and Janis Paige) takes their son (Mark Shera) along on the cruise, hoping he will end a relationship A couple (Leslie Nielsen and Lynda Day George) rethink their romance An ex-showgirl (Elaine Joyce) jeopardizes her nursing career.
Season 2: 1978–79 Edit
Part 1: Captain Stubing's deputy turns out to be incompetent in his new role. The captain, Doc, Julie, Gopher, and some of the guests visit an island near Cabo San Lucas. They are taken hostage by a nutty hermit (John Astin) and caught in a hurricane. Gopher, who is anxious about his upcoming vacation, drives everyone crazy. Isaac sails on the ship as a passenger, and hopes to impress a woman with his lies about being rich and famous. A passenger tracks down a woman who gave her up as a newborn, and also meets a soap-opera actor.
Part 2: The captain and his marooned group struggle to survive on the island during a hurricane. The woman (Donna Mills) looking for her birth mother (Laraine Day) makes a startling discovery. Isaac tries to save the ship from the storm, while trying to regain Mara's (Lola Falana) trust.
Guest Stars: Edie Adams as Maureen Buell, John Astin as David P. Crothers, Barbi Benton as Kiki Atwood, David Birney as Mike Adler, Norm Crosby as Wally the Bartender, Donna Mills as Jeannie Carter, Laraine Day as Vera Simpson, Lola Falana as Mara Carroll, Audra Lindley as Mrs. Worth, Dick Martin as Deputy Captain Cunningham, and Avery Schreiber as Everett Buell.
Julie's parents (Norman Fell and Betty Garrett) are getting divorced. An author (James Coco) and a censor (Dody Goodman) fall in love, unaware they are sharing the same cabin. A young girl (Melissa Gilbert) loses her tomboy image after receiving her first kiss.
Guest Stars: Jimmy Baio as Norman, James Coco as Marion Atkins, the Author, Norman Fell as Bill McCoy, Betty Garrett as Martha McCoy, Melissa Gilbert as Rosemary 'Rocky' Simpson, Dody Goodman as Patricia Seldon, Ellen Travolta as Norman's Mother, and Edward Winter as Rod Simpson.
Other Guests: Marla Adams as Arlene Simpson.
A man (David Doyle) makes a move on and falls in love with three passengers (Cathryn Damon, Brett Somers, Jo Ann Pflug), whom he doesn't know are traveling together. During separate introductions, they individually refer to him as 'Cornelious,' 'McNair,' and 'Vinny,' respectively. Captain Stubing's godson (Grant Goodeve) and his wife (Bess Armstrong) are cruising together after being separated for two years by his military duties overseas. Two brothers, Harold and Joe Nash (Sonny Bono and Marty Ingels) stage false injuries so they can sue the insurance company, but Harold has a change of heart when he meets a nice lady (Judy Landers).
Captain Stubing's uncle (Red Buttons) makes efforts to be alone with Julie but is thwarted by her aunt – Gopher in disguise A businessman (Allen Ludden) tries to close a deal, using his daughter (Mackenzie Phillips) as bait The neglected wife (Hope Lange) of a publisher (Gene Barry) hopes to find inspiration for the remaining chapter of a book by romancing a novelist (Richard Mulligan).
A shy young man becomes a different person at night a businessman learns a lesson about neglecting his family a man believes he has better chances of surviving at sea than on trial.
A shy guy (Billy Crystal) dons a mask and goes around kissing every girl on the ship. Then, he meets a girl (Laurie Walters) with whom he connects. A couple (Marilyn McCoo), Billy Davis Jr.), who are Isaac's friends and with whom they performed on the streets in their youth, are now successful and rich and have a young son (Todd Bridges). But his father spends more time on work than with his son. And a woman (Toni Tennille) follows a man (Robert Reed), whom she knows witnessed what happened to someone she cares about and urges him to come forward and tell what he saw.
Guest Stars: Billy Crystal as Newton Weems, Laurie Walters as Roberta Potter, Sharon Acker as Evelyn, Todd Bridges as Michael Jr., Marilyn McCoo as Lenore, Billy Davis Jr. as Michael Sr., Pat Carroll as Muriel, Nancy Kulp as Gert, Toni Tennille as Suzanne Henderson, and Robert Reed as Frank McLean.
Note: Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr. introduced together in opening credits.
An illusionist is in such demand that he nearly misses what is in front of him two recently reunited parents have trouble trying to stop their son from telling tall tales Julie's model friend, scarred physically and psychologically by a car accident, is romanced by Gopher and Doc but is suspicious of their motives.
Guest Stars: Iris Adrian as The Amazing Alonzo Groupie, Charlie Aiken as Bobby Diller, Barbara Anderson as Karen Williamson, Joan Blondell as Ramona Bevans, Gary Collins as Mr. Diller, Jane Kean as The Amazing Alonzo Groupie, Mary Ann Mobley as Mrs. Diller, Bibi Osterwald as The Amazing Alonzo Groupie, and Vincent Price as Wendell Mordan - 'The Amazing Alonzo.'
Other Guests: Maureen Reagan as Mrs. Moss and Larry Gelman as Harvey Greenswann (credited as Harvey).
A stuffy executive loosens up and falls in love with his secretary a songwriter rekindles a wife's love for her husband Captain Stubing takes charge of the orphaned child of his former love a stern Russian cruise director gets a new image, to Doc's delight.
Sandy Beal (Jo Anne Worley) is a secretary secretly in love with her boss Victor Marshall (Soupy Sales). The two of them get drunk at an office party and wind up taking an "Accidental Cruise." In "The Song Has Ended," Charlie Godwin (Robert Goulet) is a former songwriter now unhappily married and working for an advertising agency. Once they board the ship, Charlie and his wife June (Juliet Mills) encounter his former partner Burt Buchanan (Richard Dawson), who has gone on to garner more fame than he had with Charlie. "A Time for Everything" reunites Captain Stubing with Dolores (Sandra Deel), whose sister Georgina was an old flame of Stubing's and died eight months earlier, leaving Georgina's daughter Vicki (Jill Whelan) in Dolores' care. Miss "Anoushka" Mishancov (Loretta Swit), the vodka-loving Commissar of Cruise Vessels for the Soviet Union, is on board and falls for Doc, after persuading Julie to help her become "slinky."
Guest Stars: Jo Anne Worley as Sandy Beal, Soupy Sales as Victor Marshall, Robert Goulet as Charlie Godwin, Juliet Mills as June Godwin, Richard Dawson as Bert Buchanan, Jill Whelan as Vicki Stubing, and Loretta Swit as Anoushka Mishancov.
Other Guests: Melendy Britt as Georgina and Sandra Deel as Dolores Strickland.
Others: Lawrence Moran as Jimmy (uncredited).
Note: This is the first appearance of Vicki.
A widow (Vernee Watson-Johnson) who still hasn't gotten over her husband's death is followed by her husband's ghost (Jimmie Walker), who tries to fix her up with another passenger (Greg Morris). A divorced couple (Janet Leigh, Conrad Bain) sees their daughter (Jamie Lee Curtis) and her husband (Peter Coffield) off but get locked in one of the unused cabins. Gopher's sister (Melissa Sue Anderson) comes on board and makes a beeline for Doc.
Guest Stars: Vernee Watson-Johnson as Ellen Garner (credited as Vernee Watson), Jimmie Walker as The Late Mickey Garner, Greg Morris as Greg Elkins, Conrad Bain as Les, Jamie Lee Curtis as Linda, Janet Leigh as Gail, and Melissa Sue Anderson as Jennifer 'Chubs' Smith.
Other Guests: Peter Coffield as Wayne, Bebe Drake-Hooks as Mrs. Cory, Raymond Allen as Mr. Cory, and Deney Terrio as Floyd.
Note: Janet Leigh and Jamie Lee Curtis are real-life mother and daughter.
Note: Deney Terrio is better known as the choreographer and dance coach for John Travolta in the movie Saturday Night Fever. Ironically, during a dance scene, Deney Terrio completes the dance moves John Travolta (dressed in a white suit) is famous for in the movie. Then Jimmie Walker's character refers to his widow's dance partner, Greg Morris, as "he ain't no Saturday Night Fever, but he ain't bad."
A minister falls for a Las Vegas exotic dancer, much to the dismay of a female parishioner, who attempts to break them up but causes a strain on her own marriage a man tries to help his wife overcome her denial over her blindness the crew convince the chief engineer to forgo his Thanksgiving holiday by having his entire family stow away on board the ship.
A woman in charge of the presentation of the Captain's Cup convinces an engineer to pose as the executive in charge so as not to disappoint Captain Stubing Doc begins spending all of his time with an older couple from his hometown a recently divorced man is paired up with his ex's divorce attorney.
The Captain is expecting a prestigious award but the presenter (Pat Harrington Jr.) may not be whom he expects it to be. Doc becomes attached to an elderly couple (John McIntire, Jeanette Nolan) from his hometown, only to have to perform a life-threatening operation on the woman. A recently divorced man (Bert Convy) runs into the lawyer (Leigh Taylor-Young) who represented his ex-wife in the divorce.
Guest Stars: Pat Harrington Jr. as Hank Vosnick (credited as Pat Harrington), Florence Henderson as Diane DiMarzo, John McIntire as George Hancock, Jeanette Nolan as Gloria Hancock, Bert Convy as Danny Holt, and Leigh Taylor-Young as Ann Sterling (credited as Leigh Taylor Young).
Other Guests: Cisse Cameron as Amber, George Petrie as Dr. David Barnes (credited as Dr. Barnes), and Chris Capen as Radio Officer.
A couple and their friend meet a former marketing executive who is penniless and looking for work. A couple looking to adopt a child in Puerto Vallarta get the sad news the biological parents had a change of heart but the director of the orphanage has another child in mind. A friend of Julie's is romanced by both Doc and the Captain Isaac and Gopher take sides and even bet their last $100 on the outcome.
A double wedding is in store for identical twins A separated couple argue through their ventriloquist act Julie settles an argument between two adolescent girls, to the pleasure of their father, and the girls then decide to fix up him and Julie.
Julie falls in love with a man (Tony Roberts) and his daughters (Annrae Walterhouse, Melora Hardin). Will she leave the ship for Alaska? Twins (Cyb Barnstable, Trish Barnstable), unhappy with their perspective spouses (David Nelson, Fred Travalena), switch places. A separated couple (Ruth Buzzi, Sid Caesar) are assigned to the same cabin, so they and their ventriloquist dummies entertain the passengers.
Guest Stars: Tony Roberts as Jack Chenault, Priscilla Barnstable as Judy Barrett (credited as Cyb Barnstable), Patricia Barnstable as Joanie Barrett (credited as Trish Barnstable), David Nelson as Gary Gage, Fred Travalena as Ted Ashton, Ruth Buzzi as Patti Harmon, and Sid Caesar as Michael Harmon.
‘‘Other Guests:’’ Annrae Waterhouse as Ashley Chenault (credited as Ashley) and Melora Hardin as Courtney Chenault (credited as Courtney).
‘’Note:’’ The Barnstable sisters are better known as the ‘Doublemint Twins’ from the chewing gum commercials.
A woman poses as her sister to avoid an old flame. An author tries to live up to the philosophies he espoused in his recent work. One of Doc's ex-wives hires an actor to pose as her fiancé in order to win him back.
Irene Austin (Martha Raye) agrees to meet her college classmate, Andy Hopkins (Ray Bolger), after 40 years. She then panics and tells him she's Irene's sister. Dr. Todd Gardiner (Peter Marshall) wrote a book about open marriage, but finds his own marriage to Eleanor Gardiner (Barbara Rush) in jeopardy, as he gets close to a fellow passenger (Phyllis Davis). Doc's ex-wife (Tina Louise) arrives with a new fiancé (Lyle Waggoner).
Guest Stars: Martha Raye as Irene Austin, Ray Bolger as Andy Hopkins, Peter Marshall as Dr. Todd Gardiner, Barbara Rush as Eleanor Gardiner, Phyllis Davis as Nancy Bishop, Tina Louise as Betty Bricker, and Lyle Waggoner as Lance Wilson.
Gopher's friend offers him a job at a plush hotel in Lake Havasu City, Arizona Gopher considers it after an argument with the Captain. A magician's assistant is upset when he sends his brother to replace him in the act. A dowager is attracted to a cabin steward.
Guest Stars: Elaine Joyce as Melody Livingston, Melinda Naud as Maggie Walsh, Ron Palillo as Al Breyer, Bobby Van as Phil Livingston, Abe Vigoda as Charlie Fletcher, and Nancy Walker as Hetty Waterhouse.
Isaac worries that a young woman on probation (Debbi Morgan), working in the gift shop, has stolen some jewelry. A henpecked man (Roddy McDowall) feels he's being pressured, by his girlfriend (Tammy Grimes), into marriage, against his will. A charming widower and his son (Robert Mandan, Randolph Mantooth) fall in love with the same woman (Cathy Lee Crosby).
Julie is driving everyone crazy since she is organizing her high school reunion on board ship:
- Julie's high school teacher is on board but is struggling with his alcoholism.
- A former boyfriend of hers is on board with her high school rival.
- The football quarterback is reunited with former teammates.
- Another couple, who had moved to Canada for him to avoid the Vietnam War draft and recently returned under amnesty, meet another classmate who is in a wheelchair due to wounds received in the war.
- Doc romances one of Julie's classmates.
- Julie learns her recently divorced friend Wendy is on the cruise because unknown admirer has sent her the cruise ticket.
Doc's old mentor from Johns Hopkins disapproves of his lifestyle while dealing with the loss of an arm in a car accident, not realizing his wife has become addicted to painkillers a series of misunderstandings strains an engaged couple and the woman's best friend. A representative from the cruise ship Lorelei evaluates the Captain as a possible commanding officer for that ship.
A vacationing chauffeur and his wealthy employer fall in love a famous model causes love-smitten Gopher to fantasize that he is various flamboyant heroes a separated couple vie for their son's affection Reggie Jackson (as himself) can't convince anyone on board that he is who he says he is. (90 minutes)
Note: John Mills, Hayley Mills, and Juliet Mills were real-life father and daughters.
A terrier "protects" its mistress from the advances of a gentleman a waitress inherits a fortune and finds her new life, and her former fiancé's renewed interest, a big adjustment Isaac laments his ill-fated love affairs.
A wallflower is secretly followed by a shy milquetoast Stubing is charmed by a fortune-teller two honeymooning retirees are unexpectedly joined by their overprotective children.
Julie falls for an older man while an adolescent boy falls for her two rival publishers clash while their children become romantic the crew's plans for a present for their captain's anniversary keep hitting a huge snag.
A rocker meets and falls in love with a deaf girl a gambler in marital trouble gets Doc to tell his wife how he feels Isaac mistakes a conversation by two writers about an upcoming mystery-murder novel as an actual plot to kill the captain.
An old war buddy of the captain's is reunited with a long-lost love from that period a couple on their second honeymoon have their four children with them April (Charo), now a successful singer with the cruise line, tries her hand at cruise directing, without much success.
Gopher's parents visit but the father feels like a third wheel a couple with five already grown children find out they will have a new addition to the family two sisters are less than friendly to their new stepmother.
Season 3: 1979–80 Edit
This wedding cruise takes place up the Alaska and British Columbia coastline:
- The couple getting married (Mark Harmon, Lisa Hartman) have to deal with his interfering ex-girlfriend (Caren Kaye).
- The groom's divorced parents (Ray Milland, Eleanor Parker) quarrel while he is suffering from terminal cancer and she having to declare bankruptcy. Both try to keep their problems from one another.
- Julie is making a decision about accepting Jack's (Tony Roberts) proposal (from Season 2 episode "Julie Falls Hard") while fending off the advances of the best man of this wedding (Donny Most).
- The grandfather of the bride (Lorne Greene) and the aunt of the groom (Audra Lindley) fall in love and get married.
Other guest stars: Robert Lussier, Stephanie Steele, and Julia Duffy.
A woman and her man-hunting daughter arrive on the ship, the mother is attracted to a disabled man but their relationship is hampered by his snobby and obnoxious aide. Julie thinks she's opted for the wrong career when she meets her happily married friend who took the cruise director course with her, especially when she feels that Capt. Stubing is overly friendly to the woman. A man feels that he and his wife are experiencing the three stages of love.
A vacationing doctor cares for an ailing Doc, and he falls for her A former dancer asks her reluctant ex-partner to teach with her at her school in Germany—much to the annoyance of his new and younger partner After being stood up, a woman brings her cab driver along on the cruise.
An IRS agent (Phyllis Diller) comes on board to audit the Captain. A celebrity (Joyce DeWitt) tries to avoid a tabloid reporter (Ray Buktenica) trying to uncover her secret. Newlyweds (Richard Kline, Jennifer Salt) discover her ex (Lyle Waggoner) is also on the cruise and wants to win her back.
The Captain and Vicki (Jill Whelan) are reunited now that he has confirmation of what they have long suspected. An older woman (Gale Storm) who wants to "get with it" seeks advice from Julie, but the coaching backfires when Rose falls for Doc leaving one suitor behind (Louis Nye). He on the other hand mistakes Julie's attempts to fix him up with the lady as affection for him and feels uncomfortable with too young an admirer. A man and a woman (Vic Tayback and Jo Ann Pflug) who were on the same deadlocked jury meet again. Unfortunately, the two can't stand each other because of personal idiosyncrasies, but make the most of the situation on the high seas.
This takes place during a charity cruise involving The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.
- A bachelor executive hires actors to pose as his family to impress his boss and wife who don't know of his status. He however falls for one of the cheerleaders.
- A beautiful movie star is on board be chairperson for the ship's charity cruise. However, once on board, she runs into the dean of American film and drama critics who has never given Miss Logan a good review. Once the two get together it's a contest of digs, and a surprise happening between the two.
- One of the cheerleaders gets her friends to spend time with a persistent suitor in order to get him out of her hair. However when one of them begins spending too much time with him, she starts to re-evaluate her relationship.
- A man and a woman search for a supposedly hidden treasure on board.
To keep Julie from finding out about her surprise birthday party, Gopher, Isaac and Doc invent a phony fraternity in order to keep her busy and devise frat-like procedures in order for her to join in. This interferes with her romance with a passenger (Christopher Connelly). A womanizer (Demond Wilson) has his friend (Jimmie Walker) take the responsibility when his girlfriend (Telma Hopkins) finds a letter from another woman in his jacket. A young gymnast's (Nancy McKeon) whole cruise is taken up by her father-coach (Alex Cord).
A woman whom Stubing likes (Barbara Rush) comes on board but before he could make a move she hooks up with another man (Jon Cypher). A friend of Doc's (Barbi Benton) comes on board with her boyfriend (Dack Rambo). Now she wants a commitment but the guy keeps on making excuses to the point of faking an illness. Doc tries to help her by calling his bluff but discovers he actually truly is sick. And an underage couple (Timothy Patrick Murphy and Cristen Kauffman) comes on board to lose their virginity together. The girl's father (Frank Aletter) who's an exec of the line tells Stubbing to make sure nothing happens between them. And Stubing lays that task on Gopher.
A 12-year-old resents the romance between his mother (Jessica Walter) and his teacher (Richard Gautier) a financially troubled man (Sonny Bono) finds $2,000 in a borrowed coat Doc and his ex-wife (Juliet Prowse) realize they're still married.
A singer (Donny Osmond) is ashamed of his family, who arouse the curiosity of a novelist two passengers (Robert Guillaume, Pam Grier) cheat on their mates Captain Stubing invites the crew into his suite when their quarters are flooded.
Gopher's widowed mother (Ethel Merman) tries to hide her grief from her son a comic (Johnny Yune) falls for a reporter (Momo Yashima) doing a story on him a waiter (Nicholas Hammond) pretends to be a banker to win over a jet-setter (Hayley Mills).
Julie helps a brilliant, but plain-looking woman become a glamor queen. Vicki and a young passenger try to help out a stowaway and a very jealous man accuses crew members of making passes at his wife.
The crew tries to impress a social worker (Lois Nettleton) aboard to determine if Stubing is a good parent a mobster leader's (Frank Campanella) daughter and her husband (Eve Plumb, Sal Viscuso) honeymoon in the shadow of two bodyguards (Norman Alden, Richard Bakalyan) Isaac suspects a free-spending bank guard (Noah Beery Jr.) who is traveling with his wife (Alice Faye). Note: Richard Bakalyan is credited as Dick Bakalyan.
An accident victim (Alan Feinstein) and the woman (Britt Ekland) who caused it keep their distance Vicki tries to look shapely to catch a singer's (Rex Smith) eye a palimony victim (Steve Kanaly) wants to avoid new relationships.
A model (BernNadette Stanis) uses Isaac to make her husband (Clifton Davis) jealous a lawyer (David Hasselhoff) wants to marry a colleague (Shelley Fabares) who is afraid to commit due to the ten-year difference in their ages a woman (Peggy Cass) thinks a carefree attitude will save her marriage from boredom.
A widow must make a serious decision about her friend, a woman being bothered by a mystery caller. The male members of the crew are shocked when Doc swears off women, so challenge him to a bet. A man who has had a gorgeous young woman in protective custody falls for her. (90 minutes)
Season 4: 1980–81 Edit
This trip revolves around a "Marriage-a-Thon" special of 50 couples set to make their vows. The cruise begins in the US Virgin Islands and ends in Los Angeles. Sights include Curaçao and the Panama Canal. The promoter of the marriage cruise is trying to reconcile with his wife, but when he makes a crooked deal with one of the couples, he is in danger of losing his wife to Captain Stubing. Doc tricks Gopher into being a contestant judge but then discovers the other two judges are attractive women who vie for Gopher's attention. Another couple has a reputation of being perpetually engaged. Julie's old friend Mark is supposed to be a best man in the mass wedding, but the groom runs off with an ex-girlfriend. Mark has the burden of telling the bride about her groom, only to fall in love with her himself. A groom's father and bride's mother attempt to talk their children out of marrying, only to fall in love themselves. The pinnacle of the voyage is the beautiful mass wedding. Gopher finds himself in hot water in Curaçao when he runs a pharmaceutical errand for Doc, who sent him so he could be alone with the attractive female judges. Gopher gets even in the closing scene.
The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders come aboard. Gopher loses his job because the promoter becomes jealous when the cheerleader that he is interested in likes Gopher and not him. A Saudi oil sheik mistakes his gift from the promoter's assistant to be one of the cheerleaders. A man and his bride-to-be share the honeymoon with his best man. An Air Force officer and his Japanese-born wife find themselves confronted by his ex-girlfriend. (90 minutes)
On a Caribbean cruise, famous author Mallory (Pernell Roberts) invites several people to help find his nephew with the promise of a huge reward. His aggravated wife (Gayle Hunnicutt) leaves him and finds comfort with Doc. One of the participants (Skip Stephenson) is about to donate a kidney to his brother but is being followed by his brother's fiancée (Maren Jensen). Another member (Jimmie Walker) is trying to find his dream girl on the cruise. The boyfriend (Peter Lupus) of another member of the quest (Connie Stevens) is suspicious of Mallory's motives. A jealous woman (Lani O'Grady) accuses Julie of trying to steal her fiancé (Bart Braverman), whom Julie had known in college. As the quest for Mallory's nephew (Gregg Robblee) continues, the people involved become suspicious and eventually make Mallory confess his real motives. A repentant Mallory tries to reconcile with his wife. A mysterious man (Sorrell Booke) begins following them. The kidney donor and the fiancėe become attracted to each other. Julie's friend and his girlfriend continue to drive her crazy.
Isaac gets the crew to bolster his stagestruck aunt's (Isabel Sanford) ego, which turns her into an outrageous prima donna and upsets his uncle (Mel Stewart). Two sets of parents (Farley Granger, Joan Lorring, Terry Moore and Troy Donahue) go overboard trying to spark a romance between their respective children (Lorenzo Lamas and Melissa Sue Anderson). An unwed mother's (Susan Howard) infant son has an unusual way of showing his disapproval to men who try to romance her.
A kleptomaniac (Joan Van Ark) meets a psychiatrist (Stephen Keep Mills) who tries to help her but when they fall for each other, he keeps his distance. A television star (Ron Ely) whom Vicki adores comes on board with his girlfriend-agent (Erin Gray) but has to deal with an overbearing passenger (William Boyett). The Captain's brother comes on the cruise to introduce the woman he is going to marry (Arlene Dahl), but an ex (Zsa Zsa Gabor) follows, determined to win him back.
The Captain gets Vicki a parrot for Christmas, but it hasn't been trained to talk, and Gopher's and Isaac's efforts to train it prove disastrous. A stowaway (Meeno Peluce) convinces the crew that a playboy passenger (Dirk Benedict) is his father. An estranged father and son (Allan Jones and Jack Jones) resist their wives' (Dorothy Lamour & Laraine Stephens) efforts to reunite them.
A couple celebrating their 40th anniversary fight nearly break apart. A woman fed up with her husband's constant ogling of other woman attempts to use Doc to make him jealous, with unfortunate consequences. A man suspecting his girlfriend of cheating convinces the woman in the cabin next door that he is a CIA agent tracking down KGB operatives.
Isaac is afraid to tell his former teacher (Lillian Gish) that he is just a bartender, so Gopher gets him to pose as the ship's first officer. Shirley the Seal goes overboard when she spots her trainer (Donald O'Connor) with another woman (Georgia Engel). A woman (Florence Henderson), convinced of her impending death, tries to find a new wife for her husband (Jeffrey Tambor).
A judge finds herself attracted to the man whom she had placed on probation for polygamy. Vicki is jealous when her father is attracted to a beautiful passenger. An expectant couple pesters Doc while he tries to court another passenger.
April (Charo)'s becomes nanny to the two children of a TV sportscaster. A loan shark sends a man to collect an outstanding debt from a passenger. A young woman traveling with her parents meets and falls in love with a man, but she does not know that she is dying from leukemia.
Isaac and Doc compete for the affections of a girl (Marie Laurin) to whom they have been writing joke love letters under Gopher's name. A couple (Dana Wynter, Paul Burke) drift apart over work habits. The man whose wife is too busy for him finds another love (Susan Oliver). A man (Patrick Wayne) is displaced after his furious girlfriend (Trish Stewart) discovers they were to share quarters.
Isaac tries to impress a visiting concert promoter with his singing skills and convinces three maids (the Pointer Sisters) to act as his backup. A former football star has a romance with Julie. A man is forced by wife to take the cruise to overcome his fear of water.
April (Charo) and her charges accidentally find themselves on board while her employer and his new fiancée set sail. Gopher's college friend tries to please both his boss and the boss' daughter, not knowing they are father and daughter. A man falls for the mother of his old college friend.
A self-pitying blind woman is romanced by a gentle farmer. A man traveling with his new girlfriend is convinced that his estranged wife has planted bugs in his cabin. Gopher's attempts to prohibit a woman from sunbathing nude are blocked by a lawyer who feels her rights are being denied.
Isaac's shady uncle (Demond Wilson) is shadowed by a government agent (Robert Ginty). A crew member (Larry Breeding) pretends to be a rich passenger to please the mother (Lee Meriwether) of his love interest (Kyle Aletter). Doc's old friend (Randolph Powell) introduces Doc to his fiancée (Cindy Morgan) but tells him that he's not going to practice medicine in their hometown, so Doc decides to resign and fill the role himself.
Gopher has a love-hate relationship with a customs official who is traveling with her boyfriend. A young man is reunited with an old girlfriend, but his mother has someone else in mind for him at home. The manager of the gift shop has her hands full with all three of her fiancés on board.
A woman dating a man who was once obese now has to deal with a romantic rival. A professional gambler makes friends with Vicki. A group of aging crooks meet to plan one last heist (Jack Gilford played a similar character in the 1967 film Who's Minding the Mint?, for which R.S. Allen and Harvey Bullock also wrote).
On a special cruise to Acapulco for a fashion festival, designers Geoffrey Beene, Halston, Bob Mackie and Gloria Vanderbilt play themselves. A husband and wife who own a model agency spar over the use of one of the models who has captured the Captain's eye. A cosmetics king searching for a unique woman to represent his new product finds two competing candidates. Julie stands in for a model friend who has fallen in love. A couple searches for missing designer clothes while trying to keep their marriage secret from the woman's father.
Gopher's aunt (Jane Powell), afraid to tell him she is no longer wealthy and has to work as a maid for another passenger (Mary Wickes), meets a charming passenger (Howard Keel). A playboy (Joe Namath) schemes against his best friend (Fred Willard) to claim a cash windfall. An abandoned infant needs an emergency blood transfusion.
Julie butts heads with a male passenger. A young actress comes on board and makes a fool of Vicki. An estranged husband and wife end up in the same cabin.
Season 5: 1981–82 Edit
Julie prepares to marry her fiancé during a stopover in Sydney, with Vicki as bridesmaid, Capt. Stubing giving her away and the guys as ushers an anthropologist gives a golden opportunity to a disgraced former colleague but neglects his wife a rancher holds a secret from a fellow passenger while catching the eye of a pretty girl Gopher and Doc vie for the affections of the new cruise director. Isaac finds a problem with the crew's wedding gift for Julie a love triangle pits two women against each other over an eligible rancher the Mongala, an evolutionary missing link discovered by two anthropologists, is caged in the bowels of the ship the crew tours the Australian animal preserve where Julie's fiancé works.
In the Virgin Islands, a wine-tasting competition is held, and Julie's aunt helps her friend scheme to snag the contest's wealthy sponsor a judge starts a shipboard fling without getting to know his new partner well a married couple who gets divorced every year for tax purposes takes the cruise Vicki pines over a pro football player. (90 Minute Episode)
A teacher tries to hide his side job as a male stripper from a PTA member Isaac's advice leads a husband astray, and his attempts to fix the problem only make matters worse the captain suspects a known burglar in a theft of expensive jewels.
Gopher finds some money and fantasizes how he'll spend it a folk singer meets an old friend who's now a politician and traveling with a female companion a woman traveling with her father meets a veterinarian.
A new female cook lends a hand to the busy chef, who is not too happy with the arrangement a bumbling German detective (Bernie Kopell) watches a lady's jewels an embittered old sea dog meets a former girlfriend.
A male escort traveling with a companion meets a widow from Wyoming a married couple checks into the honeymoon suite to find the "Phantom Bride" Vicki pretends to be older to attract an 18-year old boy away from another girl.
A dying tycoon (Lloyd Bridges) charters the ship to re-evaluate his relatives.
The crew is in Australia to work on one of the cruise line's ships based there. A wealthy man named William Farnsworth (Lloyd Bridges) has decided to invite his whole family for a reunion. However, he really wants to see who among them he should keep in his will. Among them is his niece, Marcia (Jessica Walter), who is not exactly fond of him, because she believes that because of him her father became penniless. She brings along a friend, Jessica (Linda Evans), who has a knack of getting wealthy men to marry her for the purpose of getting him to marry her so that she could get what Marcia thinks she deserves. He asks his niece, Jenny (Morgan Fairchild) and her husband Bud (Grant Goodeve), to come but they are divorced so they have to pretend that they are still married. After her fiancé (Alan Fletcher) calls, he comes aboard and refuses to leave and when he is told there are no more cabins, he stays with them. Farnsworth's secretary and niece, Eloise (Beth Howland) gets him a replacement valet, Wayne (Jim Nabors) who's not exactly what he is used to. Wayne and Eloise get close. Gopher thinks he might be related to Farnsworth and could be entitled to his fortune. Stubbing meets an old flame's daughter, Melanie (Margaret Laurence) and when he has to go, she decides to join him and he keeps his distance because he cannot seem to separate her from her late mother. Julie cannot help but think about Tony Selkirk (Anthony Andrews), the guy she nearly married but he chose not to get married because he was dying.
Guest Stars: Lloyd Bridges as William Otis Farnsworth, Jessica Walter as Marcia Farnsworth-Smith, Linda Evans as Jessica Halberson, Morgan Fairchild as Jenny Boyer, Grant Goodeve as Bud Boyer, Anthony Andrews as Tony Selkirk (archive footage), Beth Howland as Eloise Farnsworth, Jim Nabors as Wayne Bouton (the Valet), Elizabeth the Koala as Herself, Graham Kennedy as Port Vila Jeweller, Margaret Laurence as Melanie Kalani, Madeline Kalani (flashback), Patti MacLeod as Hazel Farnsworth, and Ethel Merman as Roz Smith (Gopher's mother).
After 20 years of marriage, a couple bickers over renewing wedding vows a reluctant old maid is tricked into romance by her sister Isaac's dental work has strange side effects.
A man seeks revenge on his brother, a member of the ship's crew an elderly couple evicted from their home tries to scam a free cruise a plain woman meets the suave author of the trashy romance novel she is reading (called Passion at Dawn).
Vicki's overzealous approach to her new duties annoys the crew a group of bridge players schemes to get a former member back a casanova plays hard-to-get to defrost a frigid female.
Doc weds a concert cellist but finds she didn't marry him for love an overly cautious safety inspector learns it may be too risky to play it safe a high-strung executive falls for his female vice president.
A persistent passenger tries to win over a reluctant neighbor the captain frets over the painting of his portrait an aspiring lawyer fears being recognized by a figure from his wild days.
A famed pianist fights through pain to finance a maid's operation Gopher must deal with an old buddy who is now a woman a psychologist suspects a claimant of faking his quirky disability.
Julie's hair turns green two people are brought together by visions of reincarnation a single mother's devotion to her special-needs son threatens a budding romance.
The captain commemorates his tenth year with the cruise line and proposes to an old flame business associates double-cross each other in various ways the appeal of a rebuked suitor soars when scintillating rumors circulate.
A businessman takes his prudish secretary on a business trip, then he meets an attractive blonde and has difficulty firing the former in order to hire the latter another man offers the crew $10,000 if they can find him a pretty wife, and several women vie for his attention, while the crew tries to win the money a mother tries to reunite her teenage daughter with a childhood sweetheart, only the girl is self-conscious about developing scoliosis.
Three divorced men try to prevent each other from marrying, but one of them rekindles romance with his ex-wife a woman pleads with her lover to leave his wife Captain Stubing experiences dizzy spells.
The crew and guests stage musical numbers.
The Pacific Princess competes with another ship while cruising to Alaska Captain Stubing enters a dog-sled race against the other ship's captain, who is angry that his son is working for Stubing a man and woman spend the entire cruise in their cabin to get acquainted a newly separated couple find they cannot handle being apart a scientist obsesses over his love potion and neglects his girlfriend.
Isaac avoids a physical exam to hide a congenital condition that could jeopardize his job, while the nurse develops a crush on him a young woman's older boyfriend turns out to be her mother's former lover Julie's cousin wants to dump his fiancée.
An expensive dress involved in each of this episode's storylines. A model sponsored by a diet doctor is the target of the doctor's rival the captain helps a poor flower merchant reconnect with her long-lost daughter a man dresses as a woman to avoid his murderous former father-in-law Gopher and Isaac fret over the care of the dress, afraid their jobs may be at stake.
Season 6: 1982–83 Edit
The crew goes to Italy: The ship cruises to Rome, Capri and Venice. Teresa and Dominic decide to separate. Maria discovers her lover is really an aristocrat.
- Dominic (Ernest Borgnine) and Teresa (Shelley Winters), originally from Italy, are bickering to the point of possible separation.
- Their daughters Carmen (Candice Azzara) and Francesca (Meredith Baxter) are also aboard. Francesca meets a man (David Birney), unaware he's a gigolo.
- Granddaughter Maria (Marie Osmond), who's been promised to another guy back home, meets a local (John James) and is attracted to him.
- Gopher meets a local woman (Christopher Norris) who says he reminds her of someone she knows. While on shore, the man, who's the spitting image of Gopher, kidnaps him and assumes his identity.
A young girl (Kim Richards) who is infatuated with Gopher pretends to be her older sister. An artist (Morgan Brittany) meets an unhappily married guy (Skip Stephenson). And the ship's comic (Dan Rowan) runs into the wife (Marion Ross) and daughter (Eve Plumb) he left years ago.
A psychiatrist (Richard Deacon) who specializes in group therapy goes on board for a little vacation but one of his groups joins him. And they still want him to help them. And when two of them (Elaine Joyce and Jerry Van Dyke) get attracted to each other, they don't know what to do. An actor (Tristan Rogers) runs into the writer of a soap (Susan Lucci) who rejected him. She wonders if he has something up his sleeve. Doc's girlfriend (Michelle Phillips) joins him, as does his nephew (Willie Aames). The young man makes a move on her, prompting Doc to challenge him.
The crew sails on the Stella Solaris to Greece and Turkey:
- The priceless Spoonmaker Diamond is stolen from the Topkapi Museum.
- Travel agent Dana Pierce (Polly Bergen) wants to check out the locales for business purposes.
- Emmett and Ella Stokes (Harvey Korman and Nancy Dussault) insist they have seen fellow passenger Mark Hayward (Mike Connors) before, but he repeatedly denies it.
- Crusading reporter Joe Novak (Kiel Martin) is quietly dating Sabrina Drake (Jan Smithers), whose mother Amanda Drake (Alexis Smith) he libeled in his columns. When Doc finds out that Sabrina is pregnant, he gives serious consideration to marrying her and being the unborn child's surrogate father.
- Photographer Cliff Jacobs (David Hedison) runs into his ex-wife Monica Brandon (Linda Evans) on board and wants her to model for him, but she won't do it until he has a definite assignment.
- Years ago, Julie sponsored a Greek male child named Gregori Papanopolis (Lorenzo Lamas) through a world relief organization. Now that she's visiting Greece, she looks him up and finds that he is a wealthy businessman. They spend time getting reacquainted.
- Inspector Akmed Sadu (Jamie Farr) of Interpol boards the ship and demands that Captain Stubing detain several passengers, including Hayward, whom Sadu seems to know.
- Cliff and Monica renew their romance. Meanwhile, Cliff wants Vicki to model for him on an ongoing basis, which could start a career for her.
- Dana shows Mark the diamond that she bought at the bazaar, but Emmett and Ella Stokes see her. One passenger has a narrow escape from a car crash.
- Sabrina contemplates Doc's marriage proposal, and he tells her that she's pregnant. Doc pinch-hits for Merrill in showing Amanda around the Istanbul Museum but is interrupted by Joe Novak, who demands to speak to her, alone.
- Gregori proposes marriage to Julie.
- Emmett Stokes and Mark Hayward's real association is revealed and the Spoonmaker Diamond changes hands.
It is Thanksgiving, and among the passengers is a woman (Wendy Schaal) who wants to introduce her fiancé (Jim Knaub) to her parents (Lorne Greene and Dorothy McGuire) but she neglected to tell them that he is a paraplegic. A father (Richard Hatch) and his son (Christian Jacobs) are trying to get away from the boy's natural father (Michael Lembeck) who wants to take him away. And the crew is bickering with each other to the point that they're not speaking with each other.
Lorne Greene and Richard Hatch starred together in ABC's Battlestar Galactica.
Doc's medical school chum, Dr. Elliot Norton (James Noble), gives Vicki some information for an article on Doc. Norton's soon besieged with requests for interviews, leaving Doc feeling very insecure about his own accomplishments, which pale in comparison. Tom Niver (Raymond St. Jacques) and Faye Phillips (Theresa Merritt) are seniors living together without being married. They introduce his son Jeffrey (Brian Stokes Mitchell) to her daughter Velma (Telma Hopkins), both of whom object to their parents' domestic arrangement. Computer genius Ross (Alan Young) meets longtime friend Kathy Brighton (Holland Taylor) abroad the ship, but is afraid of losing her to masculine passenger Bob Williams (Adam West). While taking Kathy on a tour of the ship, Ross finds something startling in the cargo hold.
The crew are in Greece working a cruise a college is having its graduation ceremony aboard:
- The dean (Eddie Albert) is attracted to a teacher (Shirley Jones) who rebuffs him because he won't give a student a make-up test so he can graduate. Making matters worse, the student and a couple of his friends are hounding the principal about the make-up test.
- A prodigy (Jimmy McNichol) is attracted to Vicki, which doesn't make the Captain happy.
- The valedictorian (Parker Stevenson), whose education was provided by his Greek aunt (Eva Marie Saint) whom he assumed is wealthy, learns she's just a woman of humble means. When she arrives on board, he does not tell anyone who she is, not even his girlfriend (Lisa Whelchel).
- Isaac meets a woman who is estranged from her husband (Debbie Allen). Vicki falls in love, while a beloved crew member decides to leave the ship.
After being let go by her employer, April Lopez (Charo) plans to move back home to Mexico. She wants to become an American citizen but always gets nervous and crumbles during the oral exam. A passenger, Judge Kramer (Esther Rolle), is summoned to help her take the citizenship test. George and Phyllis Cowens (Don Porter and Barbara Billingsley) treat their adopted son Jimmy (Michael J. Fox) to a cruise as a high school graduation gift. Jimmy mistreats Gregory Steven Leonard (Gregg Henry), one of the ship's waiters. Animosity develops quickly between the two, who soon learn that they have a connection. Inexperienced young Abby Foster (Mary Beth McDonough) wants to have her first time with a man and meets handsome fellow passenger Neil Holmes (Brodie Greer). But whenever they become intimate, she breaks up laughing and kills the mood.
A contest is held on board to determine which dog will be on the cover of dog food containers:
- A woman (Catherine Bach) thinks a dog belonging to another passenger (Dirk Benedict) is one she lost some time ago.
- Isaac's Aunt Tanya (Isabel Sanford) enters her pet and is pampering him so much, her husband Charles (Mel Stewart) feels neglected.
- Gopher and Isaac get a dog (Tundra the Wonder Dog), enter him in the contest, seem to have trouble training him and sell him to Vicki.
- A mail clerk from the dog food company (Ray Buktenica) poses as the company president (Gordon Jump), who's really in Las Vegas with another woman. Things get complicated when the clerk connects with a passenger (Heather Thomas) and has a surprise visit from his "wife" (Jo Anne Worley).
Guest stars: Chuck McCann, Moore's Mongrel Revue
Notes: This was a 90-minute episode. Isabel Sanford and Mel Stewart previously played in-laws on All in the Family.
Professor Roscoe Weber (Sam Jaffe), a 91-year-old Nobel Prize winner for psychology, doesn't realize that his adoring former pupil, Professor Helen Burton (Bettye Ackerman), has been hired by his university to replace him. Expert magician The Great Stellini (Dick Van Patten) disapproves of his daughter Christina(Mary-Margaret Humes)'s suitor, novice magician Joey Gardiner (Barry Van Dyke), who he thinks wants to steal his secrets. Minnie Dunlop (Anne Meara) used to be Harlan Weatherly(Jerry Stiller)'s landlady before his damage to the apartment drove her to file a lawsuit against him. The crew holds a simulated small claims court for Minnie and Harlan.
Aboard a country music jamboree cruise:
- Gopher thwarts an incognito Dottie West's plans for a restful weekend. He also borrows kitchen implements without asking from Chef Loomis (Pat Buttram) so the crew can create an opening act for the jamboree.
- Singer Holly Hartman (Jessica Walter) discovers her husband Danny (Mel Tillis) is writing songs under a pseudonym for chart-topping singer C.G. Thomas (Tanya Tucker).
- Annabelle Folker (Florence Henderson) returns with a golfer boyfriend (Bert Convy) and three orphans (Neil Billingsley, Angela Lee Sloan and Michael Evans) whose parents died en route to one of her concerts. The orphans try upsetting Ted, so he'll bow out and enable Annabelle to spend more time with them.
- Effie Skaggs (Minnie Pearl) upsets Doc and Capt. Stubing by handing out bottles of her homemade folk remedy "Aunt Effie's Elixir," thus practicing medicine without a license.
- Jeannie Davis (Beth Howland)' jewelry attracts the attention of outspoken jeweler Henry Bullard (Sherman Hemsley), who knows that it's real. Jeannie is desperate to keep this news from her husband, Bill (Steve Kanaly), because revealing the secret could jeopardize their marriage.
- Plus-sized Kenny Creek (Kenny Price) and Lulu Dixon (Lulu Roman) take full advantage of the food served on board. Ted gives Annabelle an ultimatum: either the kids fly home or he does. Effie gets sick, but refuses to let Doc examine her.
Season 7: 1983–84 Edit
A woman with a heart condition falls for a man wanted in the U.S. for manslaughter. The police detective who tracked him down is also on the cruise. Doc meets a woman who spent much of her adult life in China and is more of a fan of Eastern than Western medicine. She even helps cure the Captain's back spasms. A man who writes a newspaper column under a fictitious woman's name meets a woman who blames the column for her recent divorce. A friend of Gopher's who is dating two women is on board to decide which one he truly loves, unaware that both women are also on the cruise.
Guest stars: Ursula Andress as Carole, Susan Anton as Leslie, Michael Constantine as Charlie, Linda Evans as Barbara, John Forsythe as Burt, Lee Horsley as Greg, Pat Klous as Laurie, Lee Majors as Robert, Erin Moran as Joanne
Note: Pat Klous (credited as Patricia Klous), who later played cruise director Judy McCoy in seasons 8 and 9, played an unrelated role in this episode.
A young man claims that he is Doc's son an ad executive collaborates on a campaign with the daughter of his latest client a professional escort of an older woman falls for another younger woman.
Capt. Stubing runs into an old friend (Rue McClanahan), who is now married to volatile salesman (Dick Van Patten) Alan Price (Alan Thicke) wants to ensure that his ex-wife Sheila (Michelle Phillips) marries her new fiance Lou (Fred Willard) to escape paying alimony Aunt Sylvia (Carol Channing) and her friend Betsy (Betty White) try to persuade a famous publisher (Cesar Romero) print Betsy's memoirs.
Guest stars: Carol Channing as Aunt Sylvia Duvall, Rue McClanahan as Laura Thornton Hayes, Michelle Phillips, Cesar Romero as John Drake, Alan Thicke as Alan Price, Dick Van Patten as George Hayes, Betty White as Betsy Boucher, Fred Willard as Lou
On a Hong Kong cruise: a Senator romances a woman, until he learns the nature of her visit two brothers date Julie and Vicki a woman passenger is a shopaholic a retired spy is on vacation and romances a woman passenger.
Ace's parents send the family valet, Ernest Finley (Jeremy Brett), to be his valet on the ship, but Ace is afraid that Finley will embarrass him in front of the other crew members. Mrs. Rhodes (Marian Mercer) is afraid of growing old, so her daughter Jenny (Audrey Landers) tries to fix her up with eligible men, by recruiting Gopher to pose as an Eastern Indian named Punjab Singh. Isaac's high school friend, Cassie (Gloria Gifford), wants him to be her date for their upcoming reunion, but he only has eyes for Vanessa Williams, who is one of four Miss Americas on board. And Vanessa has an admirer of her own, Tyrone (Glynn Turman).
Miss America (Vanessa Williams) dazzles Isaac A woman (Audrey Landers) seeks a date for her mother A butler complicates Ace's job.
Guest Stars: Jeremy Brett as Ernest Finley, Audrey Landers Jenny Rhodes, Ted McGinley as Ashley 'Ace' Covington Evans, Marian Mercer as Mrs. Rhodes, Glynn Turman as Tyrone, and Vanessa Williams as Herself (as Miss America 1984).
A Hollywood movie company is filming a musical called Dream Boat on board the ship with plans to use both crew and passengers as extras. Starlet Shelley Rush (Melba Moore) desperately wants to audition for the production crew but can't seem to get their attention. Merrill falls for faded star Angela Lovett (Alexis Smith), while Vicki is enamored of Johnny Lovett (Jimmy Osmond), a rock star who has never acted before, is very apprehensive about his debut, and takes it out on Vicki by being rude to her. Producer Marty Chenault (Dean Jones) is the older brother of Jack Chenault, whom Julie almost married once.
Season 8: 1984–85 Edit
The crew is working a special Alaskan cruise:
- All the passengers are women who are vying for a date with Engelbert Humperdinck.
- Because Julie has married, the crew has a new cruise director, the terrorizing Bernice (Diane Ladd). Meanwhile, Julie's recently divorced sister Judy (Pat Klous) is aboard.
- Harry (Bert Convy) fears he's inadequate for wife Jane (Patty Duke), the cruise's organizer. He and friend Ralph (Arte Johnson) pose as women to follow Jane.
- Doc's romance with Emily (Michelle Phillips) crumbles.
Also Guest Starring: Lydia Cornell as Bonnie, Rebecca Holden as Diane, Selma Archerd as Mrs. Carter, Anulka Dziubinska as Ginger, and Linda Stayer as Angie.
Notes: This is a 90-minute episode. Patty Duke is credited as Patty Duke Astin. Pat Klous is credited as Patricia Klous. Julie (Lauren Tewes) does not appear in this episode. Klous joins the cast, as does Ted McGinley as "Your Ship's Photographer," Ashley "Ace" Covington Evans.
The crew works a Netherlands voyage:
- Vicki hooks up with a new crew member (Patrick Cassidy) who is being sought by Interpol.
- Milton (Pat Harrington Jr.), traveling with his wife Helen (Eileen Brennan), discovers his mistress Tracy (Teri Copley) is also on the ship.
- The Captain is taken with Inga, (Elke Sommer) who, for some reason, tries to keep him at bay.
- Lisa (Cloris Leachman) meets a former lover, Erik (George Kennedy), who thinks she betrayed him. He doesn't remember her when they meet.
The Netherlands voyage concludes with heartbreak for Vicki. Also Guest Starring: Tim Robbins as young Erik.
An undercover FBI agent (Jack Riley) butters up a bookie (James Sloyan)'s girlfriend (Stephanie Faracy) in order to get the scoop on his operation. Believing that good people die young, a charming boy (Emmanuel Lewis) goes on a rampage of bad behavior. A blind passenger (Barbara Parkins) reunites with a passenger (John Bennett Perry), with whom she went to college and had a crush on.
A dead man (Bill Macy) must perform a totally selfless act to get into heaven, with an angel (Fritz Weaver) watching. Gopher is leery of a girl (Dianne Kay) who rejected his marriage proposal years ago. A soap opera fan (Jayne Meadows) confuses an actor (Charles Frank) for the villainous character he plays when he and her daughter (Susan Blanchard) get together.
Also Guest Starring: Juliet Mills as Blair Chapman Nedra Volz as a passenger.
April Lopez (Charo) comes aboard as the ship's new aerobics instructor. Rich brothers (Ben Murphy and Charles Siebert) bet $1 million that they will not fall in love on the cruise. A reporter (Ralph Bellamy) pursues a woman (Dorothy McGuire) to get the story that she is aviator Amelia Earhart.
The crew journeys to London and Paris:
- Novelist Lilly Marlowe (Lilli Palmer) keeps a tight rein on her daughter Samantha (Ana Alicia), who is attracted to fellow passenger Roger (Morgan Stevens).
- Judy's ex-husband John (Marc Singer) tries to win her back.
- Kathy (Loretta Swit) pays an English tart (Catherine Oxenberg) to test her husband Leonard(Dennis Holahan)'s fidelity.
- Maud (Colleen Dewhurst) and her son Byron (Peter Barton) are reunited with her actor husband, Sir Alfred (Trevor Howard).
After twenty-three years of marriage, Shirley Enicker (Rue McClanahan) wants to live comfortably, rather than continue to be a penny pincher. Her frugal and cheap husband Howard (Donald O'Connor) doesn't like the changes that are in store for their marriage. Eve Springer (Vera Miles) is on board with her two daughters, Eleanor (Jaime Lyn Bauer) and Patty (Dana Plato). Eleanor doesn't like fast romances because she got burned in one years ago, claiming it ruined her life. Eleanor overprotects Patty, trying to throw cold water on her shipboard fling with Peter Barkan (Christopher Knight). Merrill's friend's niece, Kim Carlisle (Michelle Johnson), is an energetic intern rotating through the different jobs on the ship. Unfortunately, she fails at all of them.
On a Christmas cruise, three men (Avery Schreiber, Ray Walston and Scatman Crothers) are scheduled to play one jolly St. Nick. Vicki gives her dog (Tundra the Wonder Dog) to a lonely comic (Howard Morris). Carol Kelsey (Kim Lankford) asks Ace to pose as her fiancé and fool her mother (Anne Francis). Ace's friend Noel Kane (Shea Farrell) complicates things by falling for Carol.
Judy, Gopher, and Isaac each hire a Santa, who don't get along and try to out-do each other. To placate her mother, a woman asks Ace to pose as her fiancé. A has-been comic finds his career resurrected by an abandoned dog.
‘’Guest Stars:’’ Scatman Crothers as Malcolm, Shea Farrell as Noel Kane, Anne Francis as Mrs. Kelsey (credited as Anne Lloyd Francis), Michelle Johnson as Kim Carlisle, Kim Lankford as Carol Kelsey, Howard Morris as Billy Banks, Avery Schreiber as Patrick Turney, Tundra the Wonder Dog as Tundra (as Tundra), and Ray Walston as Max Phelps.
‘’Other Guests:’’ Justin Gocke as Mark, Cherilyn Milton as Mark's mother (credited as Mother), and Hector Hernandez as Steward.
A Scandinavian cruise on the Royal Viking Sky begins in London and travels through Oslo and Stockholm:
- Grant Cooper (John Davidson), vice president of promotions for a suntan lotion, seeks a native Scandinavian female from dozens of applicants to be the company spokesperson. Greta Lund (Christopher Norris) impersonates a native Scandinavian in hopes of winning.
- Lonely Mel Davis (Jack Klugman) thinks women don't like him because of his large nose. Planning to get cosmetic surgery in Stockholm, he meets Kay Webber (Susannah York). She falls in love with him but thinks he's planning a different kind of surgery.
- Scientist Dr. Fabian Cain (Telly Savalas) creates a robot duplicate of Isaac and plans to use him for nefarious purposes. He's helped by aspiring actress Delia Parks (Janet Jackson), who may or may not be in love with Isaac.
- Wealthy Swedish actress Helga Bjorsson (Priscilla Barnes) captivates Gopher.
- Grant and Ace go to Greta's parents' home for a photo shoot with her.
- Kay expresses concern to Doc about Mel's operation.
- Dr. Cain tries out Isaac's robot double in public, while the real Isaac goes on a romantic boat ride with Delia.
- Gopher leaves the cruise line to work with Helga.
The Captain fails Officer Deirdre Crichton (Cathy Lee Crosby) when she tests for a captaincy. Paul (Jimmy Osmond) is convinced that his father's surprise birthday present is a prostitute (Karen Kopins). Nancy (Tracy Reed) has a dislike for her father(Bernie Hamilton)'s on-board romance (Esther Rolle).
The crew works a Caribbean voyage:
- A British ex-military officer (Stewart Granger), escorting singing sensations Menudo, is tired of a woman (Lana Turner) who lies.
- Jim and Dianne Tipton (Jared Martin and Hayley Mills) are bewildered by Doc and his visiting ex-wife Nancy (Elizabeth Ashley) being very much in love, especially since Doc attributes it to why they divorced.
- Vicki falls for Curtis (Timothy Patrick Murphy), who is continually pampered by a mother (Anne Baxter) who refuses to see him as anything other than a child.
- Larry (Andrew Stevens) is being set up for a sex-discrimination lawsuit by Anne (Linda Purl), who is disguised as a man.
- Elizabeth falls for Thomas.
- Anne continues to pose as a man while on the ship.
- Jim and Dianne reconsider their relationship.
- Curtis proposes to Vicki.
Note: This is Michelle Johnson's last episode as Kim.
Season 9: 1985–86 Edit
The ship gets a makeover and gains new dancers. Isaac gets the surprising visit of a former girlfriend who wants to renew with him. Introducing the Love Boat Mermaids. Their choreographer is Phylicia Ayers-Allen (a.k.a. Phylicia Rashad).
The Mermaids' choreographer charms Isaac Gopher plays mediator Doc looks after Gopher's girlfriend Judy falls for a mysterious man.
The Love Boat Mermaids include: Debbie Bartlett as Susie - Love Boat Mermaid (credited as Deborah Bartlett) Tori Brenno as Maria - Love Boat Mermaid Nanci L. Hammond as Jane - Love Boat Mermaid (credited as Nanci Lynn Hammond) Teri Hatcher as Amy - Love Boat Mermaid Debra Johnson as Patti - Love Boat Mermaid Macarena as Sheila - Love Boat Mermaid Andrea Moenas as Starlight - Love Boat Mermaid (credited as Andrea Moen) and Beth Myatt as Mary Beth - Love Boat Mermaid.
Guest Stars: Phylicia Rashad as Lonette Becker (credited as Phylicia Ayers Allen), Conrad Bain as Charles Custers, Diane Ladd as Christa Johanson, John Ratzenberger as Marty Elder, Gordon Thomson as Nick Durrell, Ava Cadell as Dee Dee Winters (listed in final credits as Didi Winters), and Steven M. Gagnon as Paul (credited as Steve Gagnon).
Vicki is thrilled to let everyone know that she got the famous band the Temptations to perform during the cruise. A couple fight each other to gain custody of their son.
The Temptations board with their manager a loan shark (Vic Tayback) bargains for a date the captain becomes involved in a kidnapping.
Guest Stars: Franklin Cover as Marvin Brown, Penny Fuller as Catherine Gerra, Charlotte Rae as Milly Brown, Robert Reed as Carl Gerra, Michael Spound as Ted Belmond, Connie Stevens as Heidi Lester, Robert Jayne as Brian Gerard (credited as Bobby Jacoby), and Vic Tayback as Jack Hamilton.
A couple is looking for a rare stamp hidden somewhere on the boat. Ace and the crew campaign for a salary raise. A woman avoids Andy Warhol, wanting to forget the time she was in one of his movies.
Guest Stars: Milton Berle as Lionel Cooper, Tom Bosley as George Hammond, Peter Duchin as Peter Duchin, Andy Griffith as Larry Cooper, Cloris Leachman as Karen Cooper, Marion Ross as Mary Hammond, Raymond St. Jacques as Ramon, and Andy Warhol as Andy Warhol.
Other Guests: Lisa Dean Ryan as Spock and Vera Perez as B.F.D. Marion Ross and Tom Bosley played husband and wife on the hit ABC show Happy Days
German Cruise: Part 1 of 2. The crew is now in Germany and among the passengers is a woman (Alexis Smith), whose family estate was taken by a nemesis (Craig Stevens), who runs into an old flame (Mel Ferrer). Doc meets a woman (Susan Blakely), who's traveling with her brother (Ken Olandt), who doesn't warm up to Doc. Later, while they're out, Doc hits a man (Olandt) who appears to be seriously injured. Two sisters (Audrey Landers and Judy Landers), who are looking to score a rich guy but, when one of them is attracted to Ace, the other tries to sabotage the relationship. And a biker (Jack Coleman), who just got married (Lisa Whelchel) and is retiring from competition, is being courted by his coach (Harry Morgan), who says he wants him to enter one last race so that the coach can get the job he's trying to get. On the Rivera: a former bike-racing coach (Harry Morgan) tries to lure a newlywed champion (Jack Coleman) out of retirement a woman (Alexis Smith) wants to visit the family villa before it's sold Doc feels badly about a young man (Ken Olandt)'s death two sisters (Audrey Landers and Judy Landers) try to attract wealthy men.
Guest Stars: Susan Blakely as Nicole Phillips, Jack Coleman as Scott Barrett, Mel Ferrer as Jack Powers, Audrey Landers as Brenda Adams-Rosenberg, Judy Landers as Edie Adams-Rosenberg, Harry Morgan as Charly Fields, Ken Olandt as Don Phillips, Alexis Smith as Justina Downey, Craig Stevens as Viktor Lukas, and Lisa Whelchel as Kelly Barrett.
Other Guests: Patti MacLeod as Society Matron (credit only), Richard Wren as Carl Mueller, William Jackson as Alexander Dietrich (credited as William B. Jackson), Peter Kelly as Marcel Villemin, Barbara Ward as Gina, Charles Howard as Man at Bar, Sisse Hasbo as Sophia, Ulrich Matschoss as Anton, and Gil Mandelik as Croupier (credit only).
Gopher envisions the liner as a World War II troop ship en route to France.
Guest Stars: Charo as Lupe Zapata De Vega Valdez, Nathan Cook as Carl Tysdell, Leigh McCloskey as Charles "Chip" Reynolds, Stephanie Mills as Tara, and Erin Moran as Janet Reynolds.
Three college girls (Carrell Myers, Toni Hudson and Christie Claridge) are mistaken for prostitutes fitness expert and health book author Andy (Charles Frank) suffers fainting spells during triathlon training Judy's (Pat Klous) soap opera star aunt Sylvia's (Carol Channing) jealous friend Betsy (Betty White) auditions for a new part on their soap opera with Sylvia's lecherous co-star Roger (Louis Nye).
Judy's soap-star aunt boards a health-book author finds out what ails him three women court Ace.
Guest Stars: Carol Channing as Sylvia Bennett, Charles Frank as Andy Singer, Belinda Montgomery as Valerie Singer, Louis Nye as Roger Garrett, and Betty White as Betsy Boucher.
Other Guests: Carrell Myers as Denise, Toni Hudson as Rita, Christie Claridge as Sherry, Don Bovingloh as Howard, Joe Renteria as Ramon, Rose Parrah as Chi Chi, and Anthony Barton as Dean.
Julie McCoy asks Gopher for advice when her marriage starts to fall apart. Amy (Teri Hatcher), one of the Mermaid dancers, believes she was involved in a crime and is afraid that a Las Vegas cop who is being friendly to her might recognize her. Ace is forced to fire two employees.
Julie McCoy Chenault (Lauren Tewes) comes back Ace must prove himself by firing two employees A police detective woos mermaid Amy.
New roommates Vicki and Judy have to deal with their opposite habits. A multimillionaire makes everyone's dreams come true. A rich man promises to make wishes come true Vicki and Judy become roommates A pro golfer learns the truth about the woman he loves.
Guest Stars: Diana Canova as Christine Bradley, Jeff Conaway as Randy Jackson, Sandy Dennis as Gina Caldwell, and Harvey Korman as Cabot Fairfield.
Love is in the air with a wedding on board. Ace is attracted by the bride that ran away, and the groom is getting closer to her sister. Passengers involved in a shipboard wedding include the nearly bankrupt father of the bride, the best man, and a wedding party-crasher.
Guest Stars: Lydia Cornell as Jackie Ryan Proctor, Fannie Flagg as Laurie Ryan, Robert Mandan as Ernie Ryan, Denver Pyle as Eric Springer, and Morgan Stevens as Kurt Duncan.
Ace's cabin has been searched and he suspects a spy team work. Doc's new patient is sleepwalking. A woman is scared by her boyfriend's risky stunts. Ace photographs a spy and his daughter A girl challenges a daredevil (Peter Scolari) Doc helps a senator (Alan Thicke) and his wife.
Guest Stars: Courteney Cox as Carol, Herb Edelman as Dr. Ivan Petrovska (credited as Herbert Edelman), Peter Scolari as Frank Hobbs, Shelley Smith as Phyllis Townsend, Alan Thicke as Senator Bob Townsend, and Kristina Wayborn as Anna Petrovska.
When a fraternity has the turnover of one of their relics from one chapter to another, the chapter receiving the relic feels the chapter currently in possession of it is not worthy to be part of the fraternity, so the recipient chapter leader (Tim Ryan) tries to make it appear that they violated several of the fraternity's laws so that they would be thrown out. He even sends a girl (Karen L. Scott) to seduce and distract the leader (Steven Eckholdt) of the other group, who seems to keep them in check. And two couples, who were also in the fraternity 20 years ago and were hippies then, meet and while one of them (Larry Wilcox and Carlene Watkins) are still hippies, the other one is now more yuppie (Melanie Chartoff and James Houghton), so they feel as if they don't have anything in common anymore.
Rival fraternities vie to impress the head of their national alumni association Old college pals find they have different lifestyles.
Guest Stars: Melanie Chartoff as Betty Bell, James Houghton as Buddy Bell, Gordon Jump as Grant Woodrow, Carlene Watkins as Rebecca Davis, and Larry Wilcox as Larry Davis.
Judy thinks a writer (Ben Murphy) of children's books is perfect for her picky cousin (Ellen Bry), who is also pregnant A pro wrestler (Tim Rossovich) forbids his sister (Jennifer Holmes) to associate with his opponent (Bruce Jenner) Gopher is accidentally hypnotized and given a post-hypnotic suggestion that he's the captain.
Guest Stars: Ellen Bry as Gretchen Sommers, Hulk Hogan as himself, Jennifer Holmes as Linda Sharkey, Caitlyn Jenner as Lover Boy Bob (credited as Bruce Jenner), Ben Murphy as Nathan Paul, and Tim Rossovich as Thomas "The Mangler" Sharkey.
Part 1 of 2. Cruising the Nile - the Captain and his friend's widow (Jean Stapleton) share memories A producer (John Astin) wants a starlet (Deborah Adair) to play Cleopatra A woman (Catherine Oxenberg) eyes the gold ankh which Doc was given at a bazaar A busy man (James Sloyan) may lose his schoolteacher wife (Valerie Harper) to a former student.
On the Nile: Stubing meets a widow Two agents want Doc's souvenir A couple faces facts A reporter upsets an actress.
Guest Stars: Deborah Adair as Deborah Grant, John Astin as Michael Sawyer, Joseph Campanella as Nabil El Masri, Chad Everett as Wayne Richmond, Valerie Harper as Laurel Peters, Catherine Oxenberg as Carrie Barton, John Putch as Jason Matthews, Grant Show as Christopher Stuart, James Sloyan as Greg Peters and Jean Stapleton as Helen Branigan.
Other Guests: René Assa as Ahmed and Ken Lewis as Steward.
Note: the Love Boat Mermaids did not appear.
A widow (Marion Ross) has her eyes on the Captain. A freshly appointed tour guide (Teri Copley) has to deal with a group of demanding senior citizens. A recent lottery winner (Noah Beery Jr.) becomes greedy.
A wealthy businesswoman (Marion Ross) flirts with Stubing A tour guide loses her group An $8-million-lottery winner becomes a boor.
Guest Stars: Noah Beery Jr. as Daryl Wilcox, Teri Copley as Donna Louise Bedford, Virginia Mayo as Virginia Wilcox, Marion Ross as Emily Haywood and Barry Van Dyke as Brandon Cobb.
The Captain welcomes back a widow (Marion Ross), who has romantic plans for her new cruise. Larry Gatlin is trying to help a runaway (Quinn Cummings).
Stubing proposes to Emily (Marion Ross) A teenage stowaway meets Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Brothers A phony agent dupes a comedian.
Gopher is afraid of getting fired, after breaking a very valuable art piece. Newlyweds (Mary Cadorette and Dean Butler) realize that they have nothing in common besides sex. Gopher breaks a passenger's (Jose Ferrer) priceless statue Judy is labeled a home-wrecker Ace snaps a telling shot of two couples.
Guest Stars: Dean Butler as Brent Harper, Mary Cadorette as Darlene Harper, José Ferrer as Simon Beck, Caren Kaye as Paula Mercer, Vicki Lawrence as Betty Logan, David Spielberg as Marc Mercer, Alana Stewart as Miss Enty and Fred Willard as Nil Logan.
An artist (Donald O'Connor) and his orangutan gives his last performance during the cruise. Doc falls for a radio psychologist A gambler (Thomas Bray) risks love A woman wants to retire her spouse's (Donald O'Connor) orangutan.
Guest Stars: Thom Bray as Lowell Mandell, CJ the Orangutan as Tanny the Orangutan, Patti Davis as Brenda (credited as Patricia Davis), Gloria DeHaven as Mary Halbert, Nancy Dussault as Dr. Dorothee Davis, and Donald O'Connor as Leo Halbert.
Searching for inspiration, a romance novelist (Morgan Brittany) fantasizes that Ace is courting her A rock star (Joe Regalbuto) tries to act like a regular guy and finds romance with another passenger (Donna Pescow) A couple (Jayne Meadows and Bill Macy) who regularly take the cruise and have the same cabin, for ten years, are really married to other people and sneaking away for the cruise. A disguised rock star faces rejection A novelist sees Ace as the hero of her next book Two lovers celebrate their 10th anniversary.
Guest Stars: Jayne Meadows as Janice (credited as Jayne Meadows Allen), Morgan Brittany as Katherine Wilde, Bill Macy as Myles, Donna Pescow as Joyce Anderson, Joe Regalbuto as Herb Hanson / Crazy Joe Flash, and Michael Young as Henry Gordon.
A millionaire is after a mysterious woman who turned out to be his wife. A psychic (Eva Gabor) makes a very scary prediction. A psychic predicts doom A woman and an old beau are reunited by her dead husband's design A man discovers that he was once married. Guest Stars: Eva Gabor as Leila Kane, Mimi Kuzyk as Nancy Brown, Garrett Morris as Gary Samuels, Roxie Roker as Rhonda Whitney, and Patrick Wayne as Jim Stanton / Ed Brown.
Note: Nanci L. Hammond as Jane - Love Boat Mermaid (credited as Nanci Hammond, instead of Nanci Lynn Hammond as previous episodes).
Spain cruise: The grandson (Lorenzo Lamas) of a famous matador (Cesar Romero) wants to write rather than become a bullfighter A woman (Sada Thompson), who spent 20 years in prison, hopes to be reunited with her daughter (Melissa Sue Anderson) A passenger (Adrian Zmed) is seeing both Judy and Vicki without their knowledge Isaac helps a pregnant unmarried stowaway (Olivia Brown). A matador clashes with his grandson A released convict seeks her daughter Isaac finds a stowaway A man woos two women.
Note: The crew is on vacation in Genoa, Italy, before returning to work and sailing on the Vistafjord around Spain and Portugal. Part 1 includes stops in Barcelona, Ibiza, and Malaga. Part 2 starts in Malaga and includes a stop in Lisbon.
Guest Stars: Melissa Sue Anderson as Dana Colton, Olivia Brown as Lois Hendrix, Mary Crosby as Helen Elaine, Lorenzo Lamas as Antonio Belmonte, William R. Moses as Mark Davis, Cesar Romero as Carlos Belmonte, Sada Thompson as Laura Jameson, and Adrian Zmed as Eddy Conrad.
Other Guests: Mykelti Williamson as James Russell (credited as Mykel T. Williamson) (credit only), Robin Harlan as Beautiful girl (credit only), Peter Forbes-Robertson as Doctor (credit only), Denise Gallup as Twin #1 (credit only), and Dian Gallup as Twin #2 (credit only). Note: These five Other Guests are credited in Part 1 and Part 2, but only appear in Part 2.
Note: Chiquito de la Calzada appeared as Musician (uncredited) in Part 1 only.
Note: the Love Boat Mermaids did not appear.
Captain Stubbing's happiness is darkened by Vicki's jealousy. The crew learn that they have to share their cabins. Stubing's pending marriage upsets Vicki A veteran football player faces being cut A cook (Michael Winslow) has two roommates. Guest Stars: Marion Ross as Emily Heywood, Geoffrey Scott as John Jackson / John 'Hatchet Man' Hatcher, Trish Van Devere as Amanda Dailey (new owner of the San Jose Friars), Vanessa Williams as Pearl, and Michael Winslow as Spencer Wilson (also introduced as Assistant Cruise Director by Gopher in beginning dialogue).
Other Guests: Sam Scarber as Bubba Powell.
The Captain might reconsider his marriage to Emily (Marion Ross). Gopher has second thoughts about an offer to manage an island resort, when Isaac leaves the project. Stubing has prenuptial jitters Ace is prepared to take over as purser if Gopher accepts an offer to manage a tropical resort.
Guest Stars: Clive Revill as Slade Collins, Marion Ross as Emily Heywood / Emily Stubing, Renée Taylor as Monica Douglas and Michael Winslow as Spencer Wilson.
Other Guests: Jan Peters as Minister.
Note: Nanci L. Hammond as Jane - Love Boat Mermaid (credited as Nanci Hammond, instead of Nanci Lynn Hammond as previous episodes).
Specials: 1986–90 Edit
A large-sized diet doctor hires a hard-body fitness instructor to promote her nutrition program A man tells his significant other that he wants to see other women and Doc runs into an ex (Stephanie Beacham) while he is on his honeymoon.
Ted McGinley is now the Ship's Yeoman Purser, Ashley 'Ace' Covington Evans and Lauren Tewes rejoined the cast as Cruise Director, Julie McCoy.
Guest Stars: Marion Ross as Emily Stubing, Stephanie Beacham as Elaine Riskin, Heidi Bohay as Jerry Sullivan Bricker, Cathy Lee Crosby as Carol Darnell, Katherine Helmond as Harriet Darnell Stevens, Jennifer Holliday as Dr. Charlene Thomas, Steve Lundquist as Steve Riskin, Dack Rambo as Boyd Hughes, and Stephanie Williams as Doris Johnson.
Other Guests: Julius Harris as Minister, and Lana Clarkson as Angela.
Note: Fred Grandy left the show in order to run for U.S. Congress from Iowa, his home state, in which he was ultimately successful. Grandy would serve four consecutive terms (1987–1995) in Congress as a Republican.
Part 1 of 2. Mother and daughter cons work a Christmas cruise Depression overcomes a comic portraying Santa A couple are reunited after 11 years The new Mrs. Stubing wonders what to get her husband for Christmas.
Guest Stars: Marion Ross as Emily Stubing, John Byner as Arthur Burkley, Leslie Caron as Mrs. Duvall, Anthony Franciosa as David Morgan, Jennifer Caron Hall as Heather Duvall, Gina Lollobrigida as Carla Lucci, and Peter Scolari as Wellington Davis Rothmeyer.
Other Guests: Judith Barsi as Christmas Angel, Efrain Figueroa as Bartender, Ruben Moreno as Maitre D', Janet Maylie as Maid, Peter Love as Cabin Boy, Cindy Adlesh as Bikini Girl #1, Renee Gentry as Bikini Girl #3, Eva LaRue as Bikini Girl #4, Stacy Lindholm as Bikini Girl #5, Meilani Paul as Bikini Girl #2 (credited as Meilani Figalan), Patty Robinson as Bikini Girl #6, and Lorin Jean Vail as Bikini Girl #7.
Conclusion. Heather wonders if Wellington will still love her when he finds out about her A chance meeting between David and the morose Santa helps them both make a fateful decision Mrs. Stubing struggles to find a present for Merrill.
A billionaire, who secretly gave free cruises to six strangers, is reported missing Ace suspects that one of the six cruise recipients murdered him Emily (Marion Ross) searches for fulfillment, as someone other than the Captain's wife.
Guest Stars: Marion Ross as Emily Stubing, Lloyd Bochner as George Tillman, Arlene Dahl as Jessica York, Peter Graves as Leonard Culver, Julie Harris as Irene Culver, Jenilee Harrison as Sarah York, Roger E. Mosley as Jeffrey T. Gilbert, John Rubinstein as Allan Davis, Connie Stevens as Margret Grant, Alan Thicke as Robert McBride, Jayne Meadows as Jayne Meadows (credited as Jayne Meadows Allen), Steve Allen as Steve Allen, Army Archerd as Himself, Selma Archerd as Selma Archerd, Barbi Benton as Barbi Benton, Milton Berle as Himself, Barbara Billingsley as June Cleaver, Tom Bosley as Howard Pfister, Ruth Buzzi as Ruth Buzzi, Carol Channing as Tante Sylvia, Charo as April Lopez, Bert Convy as Bert Convy (credited as Bert Convey), Elinor Donahue as Betty Anderson, Tony Dow as Wally Cleaver, Florence Henderson as Carol Brady, Gordon Jump as Maître d, Don Knotts as Don Knotts, Judy Landers as Judy Landers, Tina Louise as Tina Louise, Patti MacLeod as Patti MacLeod, Robert Mandan Robert Mandan, Jerry Mathers as Beaver Cleaver, Christopher Norris as Herself, Louis Nye as Louis Nye, Tom Poston as Tom Poston, Juliet Prowse as Juliet Prowse, Robert Reed as Mike Brady, Charles Siebert as Dr. Stanley Riverside, Gale Storm as Gale Storm, Vic Tayback as Vic Tayback, Charlene Tilton as Secretary, Leslie Uggams as Leslie Uggams, Jo Anne Worley as Jo Anne Worley, and Jane Wyatt as Margaret Anderson.
Reader's Digest Condensed Books
Reader's Digest Condensed Books was a series of hardcover anthology collections, published by the American general interest monthly family magazine Reader's Digest and distributed by direct mail. Most volumes contained five (although a considerable minority consisted of three, four, or six) current best-selling novels and nonfiction books which were abridged (or "condensed") specifically for Reader's Digest.   The series was published from 1950 until 1997, when it was renamed Reader's Digest Select Editions. 
The series was popular a 1987 New York Times article estimated annual sales of 10 million copies.  Despite this popularity, old copies are notoriously difficult to sell.  
For much of their publication schedule, the volumes were issued four times each year. Each year the company produced a Volume 1 (winter), Volume 2 (spring), Volume 3 (summer), and Volume 4 (autumn). In later years they added a Volumes 5, and then a Volume 6, going to a bi-monthly schedule by the early 1990s. The series was produced for 47 years (1950–1997), until being renamed Reader's Digest Select Editions. (Note: UK editions seem to have been somewhat different from USA editions. Pre-1992 Canadian editions also contain different titles.)
Occasional books such as The Leopard (Summer 1960), The Days Were Too Short (Autumn 1960), and Papillon (Autumn 1970) were not published in English originally but were abridgments of translations. In some cases, advanced copies of the hardcover edition were printed in paperback form. In a few cases, new editions of older works (Up from Slavery, published originally in 1901 (Autumn 1960), A Roving Commission: My Early Life, published originally in 1930 (Autumn 1951) or Goodbye Mr. Chips, published originally in 1934 (Summer 1961)) were also among the condensed selections.List of site sources >>>